June 29th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

My uterus looks like it loves me, but in reality? It hates me. Here is a picture of today’s saline filled ultrasound — about which I’ll write more details over on the other blog when I get a chance because really? Who doesn’t love stories of saline pumped where the sun don’t shine? — and it’s confirmed that I have a bicornuate or “heart shaped” uterus. It’s not messing around. It’s more like a two year old’s attempt at a heart. See?  I’ve outlined it in pink for your viewing pleasure.

As a reference here is what a normal uterus should look like.  Flat across the top.  Triangle shaped, if you will.

…one of these things is not like the other…

This news is good and not good. Not good is that I have weird shaped uterus which is most likely killing my babies. Good is that we know what’s causing it. Not good is that it could be a muscle in the middle which is non-repairable. Good is that it could be an internal septum which we can remove easily.

I go in for an MRI later this week and we’ll know more. I never thought I’d be praying for a septum in my uterus, (or saying uterus eight thousand times a day) but welcome to my life. It’s a heart shaped party up in here.

June 18th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

I haven’t written a truly embarrassing story in a LOOOONG time and thought it was high time I added some humor around here.  Lucky for you, this might be one of the best yet.  I think my anti-depressants are also causing some sort of weird don’t give a **** reaction because truly, I should never tell a soul this story, let alone the whole internet.  Lucky for everyone but my spouse I was born without a filter so…onward!  Oh, and fair warning guys, this involves underwear and bathroom talk.  I guess fair warning girls as well.  YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WARNED.

As does any cheese loving woman, I own a few pairs of Spanx.  (Trust me, this is not a paid advertisement for Spanx.  In fact they might pay me to never mention their products again if they ever see this story)  Most of them are the kind that keep me squozen (new word!) from knee to boob.  I get to look two sizes smaller AND have the ability to (slowly and painfully) pull those babies off to the bathroom without having to use that…hole.  Those of you with Spanx know what I’m talking about.  The frightening hole that makes you go “uh, whaaa?” and run away screaming at the thought.  This piece of information becomes extraordinarily relevant shortly.

A couple of months ago on Rue La La (or a similar website, I don’t remember)  they had a super sale on Spanx and one was a set that looked awesome.  It was like a knee length body suit of fat sucking awesomeness.  I tried to find a picture but it appears they have discontinued this particular style - probably for reasons I’m about to expound on (I LIED!  I found it.  You can see it here if you’re super curious).  Anyway,  the price was SUPER cheap as far as Spanx go so I immediately said “purchase please” and wham, bam, Spanx in the mail.

The Sunday after my amazing new fat sucker arrived I was getting ready for church.  I realized I had the ability to wear some of my “slimmer” clothes and I pulled out a svelte little black number that I love to wear when I’ve got the sucker-inners on.   It’s kind of a complicated dress with a high neck and a patent leather belt.  I always need help getting in and out of it but I don’t care because I always look pretty snazzy, if I do say so myself  - as long as I have Spanx, that is.  I slipped on the Spanx and had Matt help me into the dress.  I slipped on my red patent leather heels and addressed myself in the mirror.  Sleek black dress, no jiggly bits, sexy shoes…check!  I was looking good.  Off to church we went.About two hours into our three hour church (yes, we go to church for three hours and someday we’ll have a chat about how awesome that is) I had the inklings of the need to pee.  It was at that point in time I realized I’d gotten myself into a bad situation, thanks to the Spanx (ha!  A ryhme!).  As you can gather from the picture up there, there isn’t a waist band which comes down to allow the bathroom thing to happen.  That baby is like a wetsuit - it covers just about as much and is probably harder to get out of.  Especially when you’re wearing a sexy black dress OVER it.  So, I tried to hold it.

HAHAHAHAHA.  You’ll remember that a few months ago I was pregnant.  Any of you who have been pregnant know how rolling on the floor hilarious it is that I attempted to HOLD IT while I was PREGNANT.   I lasted about five minutes and booked it for the bathroom.

Then the stare down with the toilet began.   It was like a wild west showdown.  I was at the end of the handicapped stall staring that mofo down trying to figure out how I was going to attempt this.  Did I just completely undress in the stall at church??  Well, that wasn’t going to work unless I enlisted the help of someone else.  Remember the difficulty of the dress?  And the fact that I was at church?  Hmmm.  Did I attempt to use “the hole?”  The frightening “how does this work and hwy is it there” hole?  My brain is moving quickly because the need to pee is increasing and sooner rather than later, I was going to run out of options and pee my Spanx.   So, I made a quick decision.  I was going to use “the hole.”

So, I yanked up my dress and then attempted to…um…open…”the hole” with one hand which, given the tightness of the Spanx wasn’t the easiest of things to do.  It kept…shutting itself.  So  I decided this was a two hand job and I maneuvered myself into a position that allowed the use of both hands to hold open the trap door.  Right on time, too because I was seriously about to wet myself.  In retrospect, that might have been a better choice because what happened next is…just…wow.

Guys, somehow by holding that **** trap door open I maneuvered my…stuff…into a weird position and then when I started to pee time all of a sudden stood still. Like a slow motion movie I watched an arch of pee shoot straight out and ONTO THE FLOOR.  OF THE PUBLIC CHURCH BATHROOM. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE WITH GIRL PARTS!!!  But of course it was, because it was me, trying to use the bathroom in full body Spanx.

The first thing I did was figure out a way to, um, aim downward so I stopped peeing on the floor.  The second thing I did was laugh until I cried.  On the toilet.  In church.  Holding open “the hole.”  I’m sure the four year old in the stall next to me thought somebody’s Mom went crazy in the bathroom.  I could not stop laughing.  Finally, when I caught my breath and was able to release my grip on “the hole” I realized I had another problem.  I couldn’t just leave the puddle on the floor!  I mean, I guess I could have and pointed the finger at one of the recently potty-trained young-uns we Mormons are so fond of having so many of, but that just seemed cruel.  So,  the fourth thing I did was attempt to mop it up with some paper towels.  Try doing THAT without getting pee on your hands!  And try not slipping in it in your red patent leather heels.  (Sad note, I accomplished neither).

Then, realizing a simple paper toweling wasn’t really what the floor needed, I got the GENIUS idea to utilize the anti-bacterial hand stuff (which I’m not supposed to use on my hands but do anyway) and another paper towel to sanitize the floor.  YOU ARE WELCOME for the delicious warm vanilla sugar alcohol smell in the handicapped stall of the ladies restroom, people who go to church with me.  Not so welcome?  My hands.  Especially when I realized I was out of anti-bacterial cleanser and the dispenser was out of soap.

Best.  Day.  At.  Church.  Ever.

June 4th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

Guys, I work, like, a lot.

I’ve always had jobs that I was good at.  Sometimes TOO good at.  I could get my eight hours worth of work done in a few and either move on to other projects or whatever else during the day.  Boy oh boy are those days OVER.  Last week my shortest day was 10.5 hours.  This week is looking to be about the same.  Thank goodness my company provides catered lunch for $2 or I swear I would either starve to death or survive on the vending machine frozen burritos our call center employees insist on having.  I eat at my desk most days or run to Paradise Bakery for a sandwich and run back.  Some days I don’t see a glimpse of outside other than while I’m on the way to or from work.

Despite this I LOVE my job.  Lovelovelove.  I love the people, love the challenge, love the strategy, love it all.  Even the hours.  Sure, I totally screw stuff up.   I feel like I’m still learning and there are hard days and things I wish I could change.  But still, job love?  I has it.

Downside?  No time to do much else but work.  It’s been a fight to get to the gym, especially because I don’t do so well at the early morning workouts.  Sleep usually trumps all else.  Matt and I have been trying to set aside time to spend together and that’s usually my focus when I get home.  I’ve got my voice lessons on pause for the moment both for personal reasons and limited time.  I finally convinced Matt it was time to hire some cleaning help.  Our neighbor across the street cleans for cheap and I feel great helping out a friend/neighbor a bit.  They have seven kids and I’m sure lots of bills.  I have her come once a month and I swear, it’s almost the best day of the month.  She does and AWESOME job and is remarkably fast.  Coming home to a sparkly clean house is awesome and it frees up most of our Saturdays now that the deep cleaning is getting done and we can just do the maintenance work. Totally worth the money to me.  Anyone in my area who needs a good cleaning lady, I’ve got your (wo)man.

I’m working on finding other things to help me have more time to do the things I want to or should be doing.  I wish I could hire someone to sleep for me so I’d have eight extra hours a day.  I also wish I didn’t love sleep so much and was one of those people who only required four or five hours.  Oh what I could do with that extra time!!

So, any of you busy people out there have time saving suggestions for me?  I’m open to all things except illegal drugs - even though there are times those sound good too.  Oy vey.

May 22nd, 2011 by Kateastrophe

If you’re friends with me on Facebook you’re completely aware of my obsession with Glee but I just realized I’ve probably never mentioned it here on the old blogarooskie.  I’ll just make it official.

I. LOVE.  GLEE.

I love Glee so much I’ve never missed a show and I’ve spent sort of all my money downloading the songs.  I have also spent a good chunk of cash on Glee Live 2010 and just this weekend, Glee Live 2011.  BEST  MONEY I EVER SPENT.  Both concerts were awesomesauce.  2010 was in Phoenix and in small-ish venue and we had better seats but this year was in Las Vegas and a much bigger show with more songs, better sound, lighting, band, special effects and all that jazz so really they were both equally awesome and both times my cheeks hurt from smiling the entire time.  There is something about this show and the concerts and the kids performances that just radiates joy.  I swore last year I’d pay whatever it took to get front row seats and go backstage and I sort of bailed on that this year for going with friends and almost-back-row seats but I am seriously considering selling my car if there’s a chance to get front row seats next year.

Now, some most people mock my obsession with a show about a bunch of singing geeks and I get that, but I  need to point out that I was (and still am) and singing geek.  If my high school had a Glee club, I would have been the president.  I was in choir and drama classes, clubs and presidencies/councils all four years of high school.  I had big parts in plays, big solos with choir and won Region and State competitions in both.  My friends and I would sit around the piano singing our guts out for hours, sometimes even writing songs (Jewels, I’m looking at you). THEN I went on to college to be a Music Dance Theatre major and now I teach voice lessons after I come home from my full time job.  So yeah, you could say I’m a big time singing geek and this show may have been sent from heaven just for me.

Now I plan to share my Gleekness with you in the form of badly filmed videos from this year’s show.  You’ll mostly want to just listen because YOWZA the camera did NOT like the lighting effects and I sure don’t know how to hold my arm still.  Also, a lot of the time I was looking at the stage and not paying attention to where the camera was pointed.  My bad.

First, I give you the opening number, Don’t Stop Believing. This was the opener last year too. LOVE.

Second, Teenage Dream as sung by the amazeballs Warblers, the all boy choir featuring Darren Criss, aka Blaine. My friend Raschell’s husband has dubbed those of us obsessed with this guy (who is gay on the show but straight in real life) Blainiacs. Very fitting.  And I am one.  You should be, too.

Finally, my favorite song ever performed on the show OR live, Somebody to Love. Sigh.

You’re welcome. Or I’m sorry. Whichever.

May 15th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

In light of the virtual doom cloud that’s been hanging over my blog, here’s something to lighten things up!  This is my favorite SNL skit EVER in the history of the world.  My family watched this with me at Christmas time and I think my Dad almost fell off the couch laughing.  I introduced my bestie JoAnne to it this weekend and she got mad at me for “holding out on all the funny.”

I forget sometimes how amazingly good it feels to laugh until you think you might throw up.  Does a body good. So here you go and now none of you can accuse me of holding out on all the funny.

May 9th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

I’m not going to beat around the bush here.  Mother’s Day when you’re supposed to have either a three month old, be three weeks from your due date or be four months pregnant but you’re none of those three things sucks a big old pile of crap.  Let’s just say I’ve cried a lot the last few days.

I think maybe the hardest part is that I AM a mother, I just don’t have proof for the world to see.  I don’t have pictures of a newborn adorning my desktop and Facebook profile and I don’t have videos of the first smile or bath or haircut.  I have six months of being exhausted, six more of being hormonally imbalanced and three sets of ultrasound pictures of the babies that were mine and Matt’s for only a short while.  Wanna see?

We have Alien v1.o who was with us for 10 weeks.

We have Alien v2.0 who was a little Houdini and didn’t show up then did and then left us two days later at 7.5 weeks.

Finally we have our little fighter, Version 3.0 who stuck with us the longest at 14.5 weeks and even gave us a wave during the ultrasound (second picture).   It was nice to finally see human-esque parts even if they were still a little more like a strange amphibian than a human but we thought it was cute.

Someday we’ll have a living, breathing part of us walking around, it just seems that someday is a little (a lot) further out than we expected.  We have an excellent doctor and as of today, we have a plan for figuring out what’s going on.  We have the world’s best insurance that will 100% cover ANY treatment we may need to get our little offspring here.   We have supportive friends and family who make it known every day that we are loved and thought about and prayed for.

All of those things are awesome but it doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.   Mother’s Day might be hard next year, too.  And I suppose it’s possible that it might be hard for the rest of my life, as may the due dates of  these babies.  I’m working through it, struggling some days, excelling others.  Life goes on.  People are announcing pregnancies and having babies and I’m watching the world turn around me and trying to keep up.  Today it didn’t feel like I was succeeding but then I got a mani/pedi and my husband made dinner and I remembered there are lots and lots of reasons to smile.  So I did.

April 28th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

Just a quick update so you guys don’t think I’ve jumped off a cliff or something…

I’m doing really well, all things considered.

This miscarriage was hard, and will probably continue to be so but I’m finding some small bits of silver lining.  My maternity benefits increase substantially after a full year on the job.  I get six weeks 100% paid leave, FMLA leave AND short-term disability.  Also, the VP over our department just announced she is expecting around the same time I would have been and another girl on my small three person team is getting married the same week.  Had all of us been out at the same time I sort of can’t imagine what would have happened.  Now I just have to get up to speed by October and ready to take over some extra work.  I was DREADING being in my third trimester during the hottest months of the Phoenix summer so it’s nice that I can try to avoid that.

The recovery from my D&E has been a total breeze.  I was tired for a few days but back at work the next Monday.  I got a recommendation for one of the best fertility specialists in the state and I have my first consultation a week from Monday.  He won’t start testing right away but  at least we can get a plan of action together to figure out what is going on and how to fix it.  I’m an action person and I’m really anxious to have a plan and a list of things I need to do in order to try to find out what’s causing these issues.  Even if it’s not great news, at least then I’ll KNOW and be able to process my options with all the information in place.

Work has been a big factor in keeping my mind off of things.  I’m getting busier every day and I love not having time to sit and think about what’s going on with me.  I have things like average order size to increase so I can increase my quarterly bonus.  It’s a great incentive to not wallow.

I’ve also started on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication.  You guys, it’s awesome.  I know that there’s still a stigma around mood elevating medication but within 24 hours I had stopped crying on my 30 minute commute to and from work, at lunch and anytime I was alone.  I am sleeping well,  my appetite has stayed decent, my energy is up and I feel like my coping skills have improved significantly.  I asked for the medication because I know I suffered from some postpartum depression after the last miscarriage and I wanted to avoid that crash when it inevitably happens in a month or so.  I did not expect to feel so much better so quickly and I’m so grateful that I am.  I still feel sadness and loss and all the things that I should be feeling but they aren’t dragging me down with them.  I can process them and move past the waves of sadness without feeling like I’m drowning or trapped.  I don’t want to sound like a pill-pusher but I am truly a believer in recognizing when your body knows it’s not doing OK and doing what you need to do to get back to good.   This time I knew that was help in the form of meds.

My other form of help comes from my wonderful girlfriends.  They have truly saved me.  I can’t even begin to list the kindnesses that have taken place over the last week and a half.  I’m so so so so so lucky to have such wonderful friends all over the world.  I’ve received visits, flowers, cards and emails from friends in Virginia, Rhode Island, Canada, Australia, Pennsylvania, Texas, California, Nevada, Utah and probably ten other places I can think of  and of course here in Phoenix.  One of my oldest friends called right after she woke up with a start one morning to tell me that she felt she needed to make sure I knew that I had a circle of women with me every step of this process, supporting me, suffering with me and pulling me through my darkest moments - even if they couldn’t be there in person, their prayers, light and spirits were with me.  I believe this with all my heart.   I have been blessed with the most wonderful friends in the world and I just want every single one of you to know how much I appreciate you.

My family has again been so wonderful through all of this.  My sister was once again with me every second, making sure I had everything I needed…including bowls of Easter candy waiting out for me when I got back from the clinic.  My mom, dad, brothers, stepmother and grandparents have all been checking on my daily, all with with offers to drop everything to come to my side if needed.  And of course my husband…he is my rock solid foundation and I know with him by my side I can get through anything.

Despite feeling like life kicked me in the gut again, I know that I’m one of the luckiest girls alive because of the people that surround me and love me in spite of my huge list of flaws.  I don’t ever have to worry about falling because I have so many wonderful people willing to hold me up and carry me if necessary to help keep me upright.  I cannot thank the Lord enough for sending all of you (and many not reading) into my life.  I cannot feel sorry for myself when I have such a blessed life.  Thank you for being part of it.

April 17th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

In case anyone is interested, all the gory details of my D&E are over on Growing Kateastrophe.  It’s not pretty and I don’t hold back so if you don’t want the whole story, I wouldn’t click.

You’ve been warned.

April 14th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

So I had this big surprise post all ready to unveil to the world on Tuesday.  It was written and everything, it was just missing one word.

Boy or Girl.

Unfortunately, I’ll never be able to fill in that word because once again, for the third time in a row, we lost our baby.  I’d made it so much further this time.  I was 14.5 weeks today.  We had a ten week ultrasound and that baby was hopping around and practically doing flips.  I got to twelve weeks and realized we were pretty much out of the woods and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops but I knew at our next appointment we’d most likely find out what we were having so I wanted to wait.   And then yesterday the gush of blood came yet again.  I kept hoping that it was just one of those weird things that happens where I would just bleed a lot and the baby would be fine but my luck with pregnancy does not seem to be taking a turn for the better.  Our baby stopped growing a week ago and, to add icing to this deliciously sucky cake, it’s too big for a traditional miscarriage or D&C.  I’m getting the choice between admitting myself to the hospital and inducing labor or getting a D&E (do yourselves a favor and don’t look it up) which is the surgical option for a second trimester miscarriage.  It’s like someone just offered to let me shoot myself in the face or break my own femur.  Both totally suck.  We think we’re going to go with the D&E because the thought of having to essentially give birth to my dead child is probably the hardest thing I can imagine ever having to do.  The D&E is fairly barbaric sounding but it’s over quickly and it’s common for miscarriages this late and there are studies that show that it has less complications than inducing labor.

It’s ironic because just two days ago a friend posted on her blog that she had a miscarriage and I shared my experience of losing two and said it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but not to worry, it gets better.  I seem to be eating my words.  That day it was better because for all I knew I had a healthy baby inside of me and was planning which stroller and crib I wanted and getting excited to decorate the nursery in the coming months.  Today it feels like the whole world has imploded on me and I’m once again hollow and broken and devoid of the power of womanhood.  I realize those things are not actually true but I cannot explain the feelings of inadequacy and failure that are hitting me like bricks.  Something in me is killing these babies.  Something in me is wrong and will never be right.

Now that I’ve had the “required” three miscarriages, the barrage of infertility tests start.  Now I will be poked and prodded and hopefully we will find a solution but right now the thought of trying this again and the possibility of going through this again is more than I can bear.  I want to say I’m throwing in the towel and adopting a Chinese baby but I’m pretty sure that will change in a few months.

I’m struggling to stay positive with these things because all around me I see people who are doing it “wrong” when we, at least on paper, did things so “right.”  Now, I get that my right and someone else’s right are SO not the same thing and I understand that each person decides what is right for themselves.  But allow me to wax judgemental for just a second.  I knew a couple who pretty much had nothing.  They could barely afford rent on a tiny 350 square foot apartment in a town where rent is not notoriously expensive.  She was working, barely making minimum wage and he  was up to his eyeballs in school debt and trying to finish his degree racking up even more of it when they got pregnant.  Upon finding out they were expecting she immediately quit her job and he quit school and started working for minimum wage and they relied of welfare and the charity of others to pay for everything they needed.  Now that their baby is born they are still relying on welfare and charity and not even close to making ends meet.  They have a happy, healthy baby and I agree that is never “wrong” because having a baby and raising a family is a wonderful thing to do, and being well off financially isn’t the only way to do it, but in my opinion it certainly isn’t a smart way to go about it.  There is a list of people having babies who maybe shouldn’t be just yet or those who might not deserve them and it’s a mile long.  I know it sounds horrible but I’m mad at all of them.  And I get it.  It’s not my call to make.  It’s not my family, not my uterus, not my money and obviously not my charity because I’ve very openly run the hell out of that, in case you couldn’t tell.  I guess I just want to be mad at someone right now and that group seems to be the easiest target right now.

So there’s the third most depressing post I’ve ever written.  I’m going to be fine, I know I am, I just hate waiting around for that to happen.  Tomorrow, instead of going to Vegas to celebrate a friend’s birthday I’m going to be mourning the loss of another baby that I will never hold.  So those of you who have babies, hold them a little closer for me and maybe send some happy thoughts our way.  We could really use them right now.

April 5th, 2011 by Kateastrophe

A few weeks ago when Matt and his friends decided to do a semi-spontaneous (for them) trip to Vegas to watch our college team, the BYU Cougars - and don’t forget about Jimmer - play in the Mountain West Conference Tournament.  I was thrilled to get out of town and spend the weekend in a fancy pants hotel despite not being a huge fan of Vegas as a vacation spot.  That whole Mormon thing just takes some of the lustre out of gambling, drinking and smoking at will.  Call me crazy.  I do, however, love the restaurants, the shopping and the shows.  So I suppose I have a 50/50 love/indifference relationship with Vegas.

We stayed at the Aria for the second time in a year.  We love it.  It’s new, it’s clean, it’s posh and it’s not eight million dollars like the Cosmopolitan (which was actually my first choice.  Boo $400 a night).   We ate at some of my personal favorites - Max Brenner and Serendipity.  We attempted my favorite breakfast at Hash House A-Go-Go but the hour and a half wait was more than our starving selves could handle.  We tried STK at Cosmo which had amazing food, but was SO LOUD.  And apparently making a reservation means they’ll sit you at some point within half an hour of your arrival.  What the what?  If the food hadn’t been so good I would give it two big thumbs down but it’s sort of an in-betweener for me.  Maybe better on a week night when they aren’t trying to make it a club AND a restaurant?  The hotel was amazing though and is absolutely worth just hanging out in for a few hours.  Someday when they lower their rates to less than my mortgage I’ll stay there.

Unfortunately, I missed the really great game where BYU beat New Mexico for the first time this year and Jimmer (if you don’t know who he is, please do yourself a favor and go find some of his highlights.  I’m close to being talked into naming our first child after him - boy OR girl - I love him that much) scored a career high 52 points.  The new job prevented me from taking a day off so I had to fly out that night.  The second game - the championship - was rough.  San Diego State handed out a butt-kicking to the Cougs.  Also?  San Diego State fans are officially my least favorite humans.  It’s rare that people offend me and get under my skin and this crowd was really able to do that.  Insulting my religion and things that are sacred and special to me at a college basketball game with the kind of disrespect and language that they were using is just crossing the line.  I’m all for a good Mormon joke and poking fun at people’s quirks but this was OUT OF CONTROL.  Needless to say that walking away from that with a loss was painful but what can you do?

Oh and we shopped.  I have a new best shopping friend in Matt’s friend’s wife Courtney.  We made out like bandits at Coach, Kate Spade, Banana Republic and a bunch of other stores at the big outlet mall north of town.  Courtney actually did much better than I did but we both walked away with some treasures and matching necklaces we accidentally both wore the next morning.

We had a great time and I think maybe we should make it an annual tradition.  I loved getting to know Matt’s friends and their wives better and spending time with my husband away from our busy lives and responsibilities is always a bonus.  We SUCKED at taking pictures on this trip but managed to get one halfway decent one on our last night out.  It’s only halfway decent because my fat head managed to block out half of Matt’s face but he’s almost really smiling which is rare in pictures and he’s a total babe.  Rawr.  Also, I was wearing sequins. Because it’s Vegas and I could.

 After this trip I decide Matt and I just don’t travel enough, especially considering the relative lack of ties we have to home on the weekends.  There are a multitude of reasons for this and some (many) will even say that I’m lying and we travel more than most people, but I would disagree.  Our Europe trip has been put on hold AGAIN thanks to the new job.  Many of the weekends we’d use to travel end up spent catching up on our much needed and much missed sleep.  Plus I think my idea of travel includes a plane and exotic places I’ve either never seen before or am dying to see again.  The places we can go on our short weekends are limited and, let’s be honest, sort of lame when compared with places like Venice, Paris, London and the other cities I dream of spending all my time in so rather than trucking to Tucson (which we did once.  Snoozer.) we sort of just stay home and try to save up time, energy and fundage for big trips.  But I’m going to try to forget about that and be a little more adventerous and find places to go on little weekend excursions.

I started this weekend.  I requested a Jeep ride without a destination.  If you know me, you’ll know my least favorite thing to do is drive around aimlessly with no goal, no idea where my next meal is going to come from and the possibility of needing a bathroom and not having one.  I threw caution to the wind (literally - you should have seen my Jeep hair) and we drove around the outskirts of Phoenix for almost four hours, listening to music, talking, laughing and just having a blast.  It was awesome and now I’m praying the heat spell we had last week was a fluke and we have at least a couple more months of awesome weather so we can do it again.  I’m hoping for a trip to California in the near future and I’m trying to come up with somewhere new and different that’s within driving distance.  Maybe New Mexico?  Maybe I can pretend it won’t make me crazy and set off without a specific destination and we’ll just find a place to stay?  I may not be that brave yet but we’ll see…

Eventually, so help me, we will get to Europe and have the vacation of a lifetime (scratch that, MANY of them)but until then, here’s hoping for some amazing adventures a little closer to home!