July 2nd, 2008 by Kateastrophe

So, I check blogs sporadically through the day at work.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.  I don’t take a lot of time, and I use the Google Reader plug-in for iGoogle so that I have updates on my home page.  I usually pop over and comment on most of the blogs.  Until recently.

My work instigated some firewall that won’t allow me to comment on anything but Wordpress and sometimes that won’t even work.  IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY.  I love getting and leaving comments and I hate thinking that people aren’t getting comments from me because of stupidness, but that’s what’s happening.

I would normally just comment from home, but lately?  I have ZERO desire to be on the computer at home.  I sit here in front of the thing 8-9 hours a day and I’m burned out by the time I get to the house.  I need to plant my butt in front of the TV clean and work out and do all the important things I should do at home.

Now this issue, mixed with the blogroll issue I mentioned yesterday, is making me out to be a HORRIBLE blog friend.  I’m not, I swear.  If you’ve ever left me a comment, there’s a 99.9% chance I added you to my blogroll and my reader and that I read EVERY SINGLE post you write.  I swear I do.

I guess I just wanted to publicly announce my love and affection for all of you and let you know I AM reading . . . just not commenting for the moment.  Sigh.

June 19th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Am I crazy for being shocked at how completely INSANE cab drivers in New York City are?  Even if it means I’m crazy, I’m SHOCKED!

So far I’ve:

Witnessed a screaming “f-you” fight between two cabbies while myself and a mother with two very small children were their passengers.  It was on a one lane, one way road.  My driver was mad at the other driver for . . . taking up too much of the road???

Been screamed at for not having cash for my cab ride.  Don’t install a CREDIT CARD MACHINE if you’re not willing to ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS.  The guy called me a “b***h whore.”  Uhhhhh thanks?

Had a cabbie INSIST that I was at the right place, despite my adamantly disagreeing and NOT being in the right place.  He’d gone to the east side and not the west side.  I had to WRITE the address down for him to convince him.

Been dropped off TWICE and told my destination was “a block or two back down this road.”  Aren’t I paying for a cab so I don’t have to walk several blocks??  If I wanted to walk a few blocks I would have WALKED or taken a subway.  Sheesh.

I guess a solution would be to stop taking cabs . . . but that would mean getting up earlier in the morning.  And we all know that isn’t going to happen in THIS lifetime!

June 2nd, 2008 by Kateastrophe

I’m posting so late that most of you won’t even see this until tomorrow . . . because I suck.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I was as exhausted as I have been for the past few days.  I’ve been a WRETCH to live with.  Poor Matt felt the brunt of my tired attitude as I went full on ape-s**t on him not once but TWICE this weekend.  While I feel like I was somewhat justified in my meltdowns, he didn’t deserve the insane woman who jumped out of my body and attacked.  Did I say insane?  I mean OH MY FREAKING CRAZY PSYCHO.  If I thought he read this here blog I’d write him a huge apology, but I’m pretty sure he’d rather rip out his eyeballs than read my ranting, sooooooo yeah.

I HATED almost every moment of performing in the musical (I, the person who chose musical theatre as her college major because I love performing more than almost anything on earth.).  I couldn’t wait for it to just be OVER.  Saturday we had a matinee followed by a cast party (complete with MEXICAN FOOD.  Who’s lame idea was that?) and then another evening performance.  We were told we needed to add a matinee because every performance would sell out.  Matinee?  1/3 full.  Final performance?  Maybe 1/2.  It SUCKED.  The director kept coming backstage during the final performance to tell me my energy was way down.  YA THINK???  I didn’t even stick around to say goodbye to anyone after the show. I  just left.   Then attacked my poor husband for a good half an hour.  Good times.  I publicly declare that I will never be in a church musical again.  And if I do?  I deserve what I get.  Goodbye, Dolly.  And good riddance.

I need a pedicure.  I need to wash my car.  I need to go to the gym (Matt has told me that my attitude improves so much when I work out consistently that he’s making it mandatory and putting it in a post-nup.  Hahah) and I need to sleep.  Hmm, that’s a lot to do in an evening.

Tomorrow I FINALLY get my hairs did.  I asked around and think I found someone good.  His name is Scotty and his girlfriend manages the Crack (or M.A.C) counter at Nordstrom.  She has FAB hair so I’m giving him a shot.  I’m also getting my woolly mammoth eyebrows waxed tomorrow, thank heaven.  I’m scaring myself whenever I look in the mirror.

Wednesday, my girls come to town for our annual soiree!  I cannot TELL you how excited I am.  Julia, who is a goddess, sent out our Diva Packets last week and OHMYGOSH.  Last year the theme was Diva University (so great, check out the diva packets here), but this year?  Even better.  This year we’re rock stars in a band called Fallen Angel and Phoenix is the final destination of our world tour.  DO YOU SEE how cool the stuff Jewels did for us is?  Holy crap.  We even have rock star names.  GENIUS I tell you.   I can’t wait to see my ladies, we have SO MUCH laughing and shopping and eating to do!!  This trip is the best part of my year I tell you.

And with that, I’m off to take a nap under my desk.

April 16th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

He has been moved to another section of the company.  I didn’t even have time to GO to HR to suggest it.  It just . . . HAPPENED.

[Insert Twilight Zone theme music here]

April 15th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Dear Super Engineer and Cubemate,

When they first announced you were moving to my little pod of cubes, I was excited to get to know you. You seemed like the world’s nicest guy. I thought maybe sitting near someone as obviously brilliant as you are might rub off on my blondeness. I thought we could be friends and you’d feel less awkward around the office. heard rumors of how difficult it is to sit near you but I thought people were just being rude and not trying to get to know you. I thought I just needed to give you a try and be nice to you and all would be well in the world.

So far . . . it’s not going so well.

Your non-stop comments about my approach to sales calls WHILE I AM ON SAID SALES CALLS is about to drive me to drink. I know what I’m doing. I’m good at my job. I’m SUPPOSED to get clients interested in our product, not scare them away with technical mumbo-jumbo. Also? THEY CAN HEAR YOU. They keep asking me “what was that?” after you’ve made some smarta** remark. You need to stop right now before I’m forced to jump over the cube and punch you in the neck. You sit in the Sales & Marketing Department. We talk to clients. You develop software for clients. CLIENTS PAYS DA BILLS. Capiche?

Another thing . . . the whole mumbling to yourself all day thing is a little disconcerting. It’s just loud enough that all of us around you think you’re talking to us. Then you get offended when we interrupt your train of thought. There’s a reason people refer to an INNER monologue. It’s to be kept INSIDE.

And last but not BY ANY MEANS least, the belching and farting have GOT.TO.STOP. I spend half my day dry heaving as you (loudly and aggressively) let your bodily functions get away from you. I don’t care if you have a medical condition or if it’s just from those damn energy drinks and 64 oz jugs of Diet Coke you drink. It’s not normal. It’s also not normal to not at least ATTEMPT to stifle the noises or at the VERY least, say excuse me. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but there are OTHER PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. Specifically, people like me who are forced to sit near you eight hours a day.

Already today I’ve counted eight loud belches and two farts. IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. It’s all I can do not to vomit, yell at you or open a vein and end it for myself already. However, I hate vomiting, I’d like to live, and yelling at you would be a mistake since, during the last four years, I’ve seen two people fired for yelling at you. It seems you belched some sort of magical powers onto the upper management of the company or something because you’re untouchable. Either that or no one wants to come near the stench.

And you just burped again. SERIOUSLY???? This has got to stop. Or one of us has GOT to move. Or get a new job.

Sincerely,

The girl trying not to upchuck and/or kill you from the cube next door

March 28th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Wow holy crap was I in a bad mood yesterday. I didn’t even realize I was until all of a sudden I just . . . was.

I’ve done a lot of analysis of my “Crazy” (trust me there’s a lot to analyze) but I’ve rarely done analysis of my “Beotch.” And woah, maybe I should.

Let’s see . . I’m not PMSing, I didn’t have a bad day at work, it was beautiful and 85 degrees on the drive home. Maybe it was Costco? I had to go after work because we were completely out of food. What might have started it was watching this old lady hover around the beef and bean burrito sample table. As soon as the sample lady would set three or four out, she’d swoop in and take all three or four, run off around the corner, eat them, and then head back for more. EVEN THOUGH OTHER PEOPLE WERE WAITING. Other people that included a little boy! I totally wanted to punch her in the throat. Well, not really anything that violent, but you get my point. I hate the sample tables at Costco. They cause more traffic jams and annoyance on my part than almost anything else. I absolutely refuse to take part in the samples. It’s a rule I’ve set up. If I’m going to be annoyed by the sample hoverers, I’m not ever going to be one of them. Ok woah holy tangent. What I was getting at is that I think my bad mood started at Costco. Memo to me, don’t go right after work.

I got home and was unpacking the groceries and I was just pissy! Matt was being great and helping me but all of a sudden I was annoyed. He wanted to rearrange the freezer to make room for the frozen stuff. I just wanted to put the crap away and be done with it. Then my “B” got even more fun. We had a quick dinner and Matt settled in to watch the NCAA Tournament. I got annoyed. I got up, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and got more and more annoyed that he wasn’t helping me. I should mention that he helps ALL THE TIME. He almost always does the dishes and cleans up and all that stuff, so why on EARTH I think I have ANY right to be annoyed when he takes a break for one night is beYOND me. I didn’t even make dinner. I brought home one of those cooked chickens! It’s not like I had done any hard work and was exhausted from all the cooking!

After I cleaned I messed around on the computer for a while and then got ready to head to the gym. Matt was still laying on the couch. I was more annoyed. And I wanted PUDDING (which I had forgotten to get at Costco. Dammit). Gym first. I worked my can off at the gym and then headed to Old Navy (near where I was going to get PUDDING) to see if I could find any workout clothes. They used to have these great baggy-ish yoga pants and I wanted more. Naturally, they didn’t have them. Just super tight ugly ones. Now I was pissed at Old Navy, so I headed to TJ Maxx. It was the end of the day for them and the place was a DISASTER and so I got pissed at them and left with just a bra. No pants. Now for PUDDING.

Then I did the dumbest thing I’ve done in a long time. I went to Wal-Mart. When I was in a bad mood. Dude, Even at nine-thirty at night that place is a frickin’ zoo! I hate it! But remember the PUDDING? Yeah I needed sugar free pudding. Don’t even worry I bought like eight cases of it. Did you know they have chocolate mint?? Holy crap did THAT get me all excited. But it was still Wal-mart. And there were still little kids running around in diapers screaming and people leaving their carts in the middle of the aisles while they wandered up and down, making it virtually impossible for anyone to get anywhere. I waited patiently in the freezer section trying to get at some peas and this lady just STOOD THERE. Looking up and down the aisle, her cart right in front of the peas. I waited for like five minutes and finally decided PEAS AREN’T WORTH THE AGITATION and I left to go find PUDDING.

I finally got out of Wal-mart alive and headed home to eat PUDDING. I walked in the door and Matt came downstairs to help me put away the second set of groceries for the day. (Side note – has anyone else noticed it’s virtually impossible to go to Target or Walmart without spending at least $40? Seriously!!) He looked at all the PUDDING then looked at me and said “Woah there pudding monster. Is this stuff good for you? Can you have it on your diet?”

Que the “B” turning into “The Crazy” and attacking my husband’s jugular. I. WAS. PISSED. For reals this time.

I started yelling and crying about how he’s not allowed to tell me what I can or can’t eat and how I’m working my a** off on this diet and he eats like crap and it’s sugar free low calorie pudding and it IS on the diet and I deserve it because I was at the gym sweating my guts and out and where was he oh yeah sitting on the couch and, and, and . . . yeah it was bad. Really bad. I finished my yell fest, blew my runny nose and wiped my eyes, slammed his FAT FILLED RANCH DRESSING down in front of him, told him to put it away, grabbed my PUDDING and a spoon and huffed over to the couch where I proceeded to watch HGTV for the next hour. Then I went to bed. Matt hid upstairs until I was pretty much out. Smart man.

Today, the “B” is gone. I’m in a much better mood AND my skinny jeans, though still sort of tight, are fitting better than they have for a long time, so I decided to wear them. Despite the “B” being gone . . . I have this eerie feeling she might be back sooner than I think. Now I just have to think of a plan to beat her up before she turns into “The Crazy.”

January 21st, 2008 by Kateastrophe

So check me and my crappy weekend out.

Saturday morning, I woke up energized and happy. I went and worked out, got some stuff done around the house and then went to the mall with Matt. At the mall I started coughing up crap out of NOWHERE. Then, as the day moved on, I deteriorated and by the end of the night I was curled up in a miserable ball of achy, feverish chills and have remained that way ever since.

That’s why I didn’t write part 800 of my Soap Opera and I’m SO sorry. Dragging my butt upstairs to write this was about all the energy I had in me. Oh and I leave tomorrow morning for Orlando. I’m so excited. See my excited face. Nope, dreading the flight. HOWEVER, I am upgraded to first class, so at least I’ll be miserable in some sort of comfort on the plane.

I owe you guys a SOS post, so I promise to write it this week from my hotel room and not make you wait until Sunday. Deal?

OK off to bed with me. Kisses!

January 15th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

I had one of those weekends you dream about. Dinner and a movie with a girlfriend. Some easy housecleaning and 10 miles on the bike on Saturday morning. Fun, comfortable company Holiday party (yes I know it was AFTER the Holidays . . . we do online retail so December sucks at our office). Sunday where we were out of church early enough to have the WHOLE day to lounge around, play games (games meaning sitting on the couch lobbing orange slices into each others mouths, then trying it left handed AND with our eyes closed. Loads of hilarious fun I tell you!), and really just enjoy each others company. I was so excited to begin my week refreshed and invigorated.

Then the heaven’s opened and screamed “KATE WE HATE YOU!”

I had a pretty rough day today. I was tired, had a horrible headache AND was just plain old grumpy. The potential customers who called were all stupid idiots. I couldn’t get a single person I needed assistance from to answer my emails. I am in the middle of organizing a trade show for next week and NO ONE WILL ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTIONS!!!!

To make matters even worse, we made some seating arrangement changes and there is a new body in our cube area. It’s not a quiet body. It’s a body that belches and FARTS at will. LOUDLY. This person is incredibly smart and incredibly cool, but SERIOUSLY? Are the bodily noises REALLY necessary???

I was so excited to leave the office. I called Matt and told him I had zero desire to find something in the house to eat for dinner, so we decided to meet at Pei Wei for tasty chinese. We had a great meal and then I headed home to curl up on the couch and watch the new BBC Persuasion. It sounded like a perfect, happy way to end a bad day.

Que the bad day getting worse.

I’m driving about 100 yards behind the nearest car, taking my time, not going to fast (for a change!) and BAM! Something hit my windshield with the loudest banging noise I’ve ever heard. A very bad word escaped my lips in a very loud manner. Luckily, the windshield didn’t give, probably saving my life, but the brand new hood of my brand new car didn’t fare so well.

I now have three GIANT scratches which will need to be repaired. I have no idea what it was that hit me. I have no idea where it came from. I’m really frustrated that this happened. The car isn’t even a month and a half old. I have been saving my pennies so Matt and I can go on a huge vacation in September and now, I have to fix the car with my saved pennies.

It’s just a thing, it’s just money and I’m lucky whatever hit the car didn’t come through the windshield and hit me. I am aware of all of these things. But I still reserve the right to be very mad that, at the end of my crappy day, something even crappier had to happen. Stupid crappy stupid crap stupid. Yeah.

Wow, I’m Debbie Downer aren’t I? Internets, I challenge you to cheer me up with awesome comments!! Tell me a joke! Tell me I’m pretty! What you love my eyes? You worship me? Oh you’re so kind.

OK I’m not really a comment whore, but I do love me some bloggy friends and I would love to hear positive happy things!! Ready? GO!

October 8th, 2007 by Kateastrophe

First off, let me start my blog post the way I normally do . . . with an apology. Haha.

I apologize that I don’t have pictures for this post. In fact the post is almost pointless without pictures, but I had to post about it before I ran out of time. So . . . yeah.

So, this week we started moving stuff in to the new house. Correction: We started moving stuff into the garage and kitchen and that’s all. We have been taking over a trailer and two car loads of stuff every day and the third car bay of the garage is practically full of boxes. However, we have not moved over ANY furniture. So, recap. I have an empty house and a full garage. Per-fect.

Ooh ooh ooh but I DID (with the help of my amazing friend Rhonda) organize the entire kitchen. I am delighted to announce that I have WAY too many cabinets and drawers. I am a person of MANY, MANY kitchen things. The kitchen at the old house was bursting at the seams with stuff. I had about eight cupboards and four drawers. I now have four drawers and six cupboards on my ISLAND ALONE. I am full of bliss and excitement at the thought of a shopping trip to Williams Sonoma (someday when we have money again) to fill the cupboards with fun kitchen gadgets, serving platters and the like. Excellent.

We were also able to finally pick paint colors, thanks to a model decorated with exactly our color of carpet, tile, cabinets and counter tops, and as of Saturday afternoon, the living/dining room, nook, main hallway and kitchen are now painted. They messed up and put the wrong color on one wall in the kitchen, so I’ll be working on fixing that this week, but it’s not a huge deal. The house looks AMAZING. The colors are perfect. Now I just have to save up some more money to have the rest of the house painted. See, now I never want to paint again. I let the painters in at 7 AM and arrived at 2 PM to a finished product. Could it get ANY better?

The house selling negotiations are . . . well, going. This market sucks. S-U-C-K-S. I truly feel lucky to sell our house in this city. I went garage sale hopping on Saturday morning and I swear every other house on every street was for sale. There aren’t a lot of people selling their houses and we’ve been able to sell ours. But I won’t lie, we’ve been HATING it. We have been asked to do some repairs to the house that just seem utterly ridiculous, but in this market, we can’t fight too much about it. We just have to suck up and do it. Luckily, our Realtor has really come through for us and he’s handling all the repairs so I’m going to get a lollipop and stand by watching him spend our money. Who needs money right? I’ll just work Matt a little harder. Hehee.

Speaking of Matt, have I mentioned that I have the most amazing husband? The man works all day, then comes home and works some more and he still manages to pack, organize and move a load a day and help calm my craziness to boot. We’re both under a lot of pressure and it’s obvious who deals with it better. (Hint: it’s not me.)

And while I’m talking about amazing people, my crazy Mom ran ANOTHER marathon this weekend. Naturally, I can’t get her to call me and tell me how she did, but I’m sure she did great. I think this is like the sixth marathon this year? I told you. CRAZY. Love her but she’s CRAZY. And skinny. Damn I wish I was that skinny. Without having to run a marathon . . . or six.

OK, thus ends the craziness of this random, stupid post. I promise pictures of the new house soon and keep you updated on moving progress.

Merry kisses to all and to all a goodnight.

August 31st, 2007 by Kateastrophe

OK I’m not THAT dramatic.

But today, we got bad, bad news.

The guy who was going to buy our house is backing out of the sale.

Why? You ask? Because our twenty year old house has an “old roof and old AC unit.”

Um, knock knock. Idiot? thehouseistwentyyearsoldofcoursetheACandroofareold.

We’re currently trying to sway his decision by dangling a NEW! LOOK HOW FANCY! Brand new air conditioner! in front of his greedy little eyes. Who needs $5k anyway? That and us paying 50% of his closing costs aughta do it, right?! Right? Please tell me I’m right . . .

So I’m asking all my readers to do me a little favor. Whatever God or Greater Being(s) you believe in, please ask him/it/them/whatever to help convince this guy to take the pretty new AC and buy my house so I can stop crying and ripping my hair out in chunks.

Bless you all (and your little dogs too! Brillig, that one is for you)