January 18th, 2009 by Kateastrophe

Dancer. We are definitely dancer . . . not because we’re stupid and frivolous, oh no. We are dancer because tonight, we (Kate and Brillig, co-authors of this post) did not sit down ONE TIME during The Killers concert. And we’re pretty sure we’re a little bit high from the guys in front of us smoking a bong the ENTIRE SHOW. We wish we were kidding about that last part. We have the munchies and everything is reeeeeallly funny right now.

So, yeah. We were the old ladies who literally drove to the concert in a minivan and the proceeded to dance the WHOLE TIME. (Brillig confesses to removing her shoes, because they hurt and she’s a wuss. Kate, who chose to wear her insanely high heels the whole time can no longer feel her feet.) And we danced. Cuz we’re dancers. Except, we’re totally human. N stuff.

We got some cool stuff—a t-shirt for Kate, a poster for Brilly (Kate suggests that Brillig use the poster to build a shrine to Brandon above her fireplace… candles are already in place, and Brillig double-dog-dares Kate to wear the t-shirt to church tomorrow morning) (Kate probably will).

We are afraid that when we’re no longer high, this post will not be very funny. But for now, we’re finding it hilarious.

So, here’s a picture of us at the concert. Kate has a big head. Brillig looks like a vampire.

And here’s a picture of the guy you’re really here to see. Hi Brandon.

(We totally didn’t steal this pic off the Killers website. Totally. Didn’t.)

(Or this one.)

Okay, fine. We did steal them. Because the pictures we took turned out like this:

Yeah…

And, for good measure, we stole this one for you too. Because, Hi Brandon.

We had so, so much fun. Like, the best time ever. The Killers plus hanging out with your BFF equals total awesomeness.

For the record, Kate is currently stuffing her face with raw-ish cookie dough. And ice cream. And Dr. Pepper. And Brillig thinks that spinning around in circles would be really cool right now. Again, not joking.

Kate’s arm is shaking. Mormons really aren’t used to being around pot… I wonder how Brandon (who, as you SURELY know is also Mormon—See? We have a BOND with him! A CONNECTION!) copes with it.

Okay. We really ought to end this post. It’s 1:00 a.m. after all…

July 7th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

People, there are LARGE WILD TOADS on the loose in Arizona. Wild, ferocious attacking toads.

If you live here beware.  They are sneaky.  They might do any of the following:

• Jump into the large community pool at night for a nice swim
• Jump into the large community pool at night for a nice swim, unaware that they will become trapped and not be able to leave said pool
• Find the nearest tall dark thing, assuming it’s a way out of the pool
• Swim towards nearest tall dark thing
• Swim towards nearest tall dark thing very stealthily, from behind said tall dark thing
• Not be stealth enough because neighbor woman will  see it swimming toward tall dark thing
• Cause neighbor woman to freak out, screaming “what the hell is THATAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH” and jump out of the pool faster than a bullet
• During that exact moment, JUMP onto tall dark thing
• Tall dark thing is Husband who did not see toad coming (due to the stealthiness thereof)
• Cause tall dark thing (aka Husband) to completely FREAK OUT (and possibly think it’s a snake)
• Cause neighbor man to jump out of pool faster than his wife (and later claim he was “getting to higher ground to see what it was.”  Yeah right, pansy.)
• Cause Kate to try to RUN AWAY IN FOUR FEET OF WATER.  Kate does not move fast in water.
• Latch on to tall dark thing’s  back with claws and hang on tight as tall dark thing flails and screams in pool, still not sure what is attached to his back
• Finally realize tall dark thing is not a way out of pool, and most likely the surest way to death.
• Let go of tall dark thing
• Swim away very fast as humans laugh themselves into hysterics
• Swim towards trap door in side of pool
• Realize this is not a good idea and is next surest way to death
• Spend the next half an hour narrowly escaping hilarious human attempts to save from death by pool chemicals
• Finally succumb to capture in small cooler
• Freak out and jump all over inside of cooler making loud thudding noises, causing humans to laugh uncontrollably
• Escape from cooler and then hang out near a tree
• End humans desire to be in pool for very long time.

I wish I’d had a video camera.  In fairness to my poor husband, if that toad had jumped on MY back, I would have shat myself.  He just jumped and yelled a lot.  And we all abandoned him to deal with the toad by himself.  He is very brave.  And now we need our own pool.

June 22nd, 2008 by Kateastrophe

My cousin and I were walking home from having fabulous fondue at the Borgois Pig late late on Friday night (or early Saturday morning?) and the this drunk guy runs up to us from around the corner and yells

“Hey!!  Do you guys want to go to Lit??”

My cousin, the genius, says “No thanks.  We’re Mormon and married.”  (I’m Mormon and married, she is definitely not but I understand why she said it and thought it was hilarious.)

The guy stands there, confused for a second and says “You’re Mormon and married?  I don’t even know what that means!”

Then there’s a long pause . . . followed by

“OOOooooh so you guys are vegan!!”

I seriously laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

September 20th, 2007 by Kateastrophe

Vegas is/was/continues to be . . . interesting. Pretty much what I expected. Lots of work, two very sore feet, severe irritation with co-workers . . . the bad stuff I expected. With the exception of the night of puking my guts out. Didn’t expect that. Apparently when you eat healthy for a month it’s NOT a good idea to go eat French food. Who knew . . .

The good stuff has been great. GREAT food (in spite of the puking episode). I ate literally some of the best food I’ve ever had while on this trip. John Dory (a fish? What the?), Dover Sole, fresh handmade ravioli (cheese, sweet pea - not the flower, artichoke, asparagus . . . mmmmm), strawberry/vanilla baked alaska, chocolate hazelnut dome thingies with raspberry sauce . . . AND the good news, it was all not paid for by me. I got an AMAZING aromatherapy massage (they had me fill out a questionnaire and then CUSTOMIZED a scent just for me! It was so amazing.)

The Mandalay Bay, where I’m staying, is WAY better than I expected, and THEhotel, where my company had a hospitality suite is spectacular. And contains the funniest . . . “thing.” Everything is “THE” THEcoffee cafe. THEbar. THEnotepad. THEsparkle. And the best one of all:

Who knew you could find that kind of comedy in the bathroom? On the toilet paper??

And.

Oh my gosh the AND. Are you guys ready for the A-N-D?

I’d like you all to meet the newest member of my family:

Her name is Carla Mancini (I think I shall call her Cini) and she’s the most beautiful, brilliant, amazing little red patent leather bag with ivory grosgrain lining that ever was born. I will protect and love her as long as I am breathing. My unbelievably amazing boss saw her in a store and told me I had to have her. I tried to argue with said amazing boss but she INSISTED that I bring her home. After a few minutes you just don’t argue with your boss when she INSISTS on something. Especially when the something she is insisting on is THAT BAG and tells you that you are not required to spend moolah to bring her home. She is sitting next to me in the front seat on the car ride home tomorrow.

So, tomorrow I have one more meeting in the morning and then I drive home. I can’t wait to see my husband. I’ve missed him like crazy this week.

Also, it’s time to start packing. The official closing date is set for the new house. September 28th. No news on the old house but I’m sure we’ll have some soon. For now I’m trying to get excited and pick paint colors for the new house!

And trying to ignore the fact that I have to pack. I hate moving.

July 6th, 2007 by Kateastrophe

This is an ad for the Sony Bravia TV. And it’s probably the coolest commercial I’ve EVER seen.

This is a cool little mini-documentary about how they made it.

Doesn’t it make you want to put on all white clothes and run through a paint fireworks show?

May 30th, 2007 by Kateastrophe

Well, let’s see. I could talk about a lot of things.

I COULD talk about the gondola ride through Naples that my Grandma surprised us with.

I COULD talk about the Hotel Del Coronado and all of it’s fabulousness.

I COULD talk about my SWEET new Dell Laptop, courtesy of my place of work.

But I won’t. At least not today.

Instead? I’m going to show you some pictures. Some awesome, HILARIOUS pictures from our anniversary weekend that have nothing to do with us or our anniversary.

Picture A was taken on the beach in front of the Hotel Del. We were walking along, snapping sunset pictures on the gorgeous beach when we walked past what I believe is the most ingenious use of toilet paper ever.

Picture B (aka “THE BEST PICTURE EVER”)– is Jose Canseco. Jose Canseco by himself, kind of interesting to run into at Huntington Beach. Want to know what is really interesting? Jose Canseco . . . in tight biker-esque swim shorts at Huntington Beach. Even more interesting? Jose Canseco in MOON BOOTS and tight biker-esque swin shorts at Huntington Beach. See?

Seriously, when we saw the picture of Jose Canseco in moon boots and tight swim trunks that we had miraculously captured after jogging after him and just randomly snapping away, trying to look inconspicuous, we were rolling around on the floor and laughing to hard we couldn’t see or talk for about twenty minutes.

We had a wonderful weekend, full of fun, romance and immense amounts of food. I will catch you all up on that later. For now, enjoy the pictures. Jose Canseco obviously wants it that way.

April 6th, 2007 by Kateastrophe

I don’t care who you are, you HAVE GOT to read this hilarious post by Crystal over at Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper because it is CLASSIC. I’m still wiping laughter tears from my eyes.

February 28th, 2007 by Kateastrophe

But instead? I’m looking through old pictures . . . and I found this hilarious picture of Anne and Hannah singing with the birthday crew at a restaurant back in good old Provo, Utah. They were singing me happy birthday . . . back when I was young and 25. Those were the days. Sigh.

February 23rd, 2007 by Kateastrophe

I was reading Suburban Turmoil this morning and I just HAD to “borrow” this picture from her blog so that those of you too lazy to actually just click on the link to her blog over there could see the hilarity. Because this is SO worth it.

Yep, still laughing. Probably won’t stop all day.

———————-

**Updated to add she totally won the lawsuit HAHAHAHAAAA!