July 1st, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Well I’m back in the real life . . . not loving it so much, but what can you do. A girl’s gotta pay the bills, right?\

The ten year reunion? A million times better than I ever expected it could be. I went to school with some of the world’s neatest people, who grew up into some of the world’s coolest adults with some of the world’s CUTEST kids. Also, the dress I FINALLY found at the midnight hour? A-MAZING. It’s my new favorite thing ever. I felt SO good that night, which made it all the more enjoyable. I will see what I can do about posting some pictures. I took a lot of other people and only a couple of myself and my girlfriends, but what can ya do?

The new boss is still as cool as I thought he was. We’re digging in this week and getting started on a new website, new messaging, new collateral, new press information . . . basically NEW EVERYTHING. I have my work cut out for me. Luckily, I like the general giving the marching orders, so I’ll march happily.

It’s hot here. Really, really hot. I’m not surprised or anything, I’ve just been lucky to have missed most of the really hot days so far this year. Now I’m sort of immersed in hotness. It’s a little bit uncomfortable. We were thinking of getting the hell out of here for the 4th but I’ve been gone SO much, all I really want to do is hang out at our house and catch up on some sleep, so we’re staying in the hot and having an indoor BBQ. Without fireworks. Or something similar that in no way resembles the 4th of July holiday festivities I grew up with. And now I’ve successfully made myself homesick. There’s nothing like the 4th of July in Provo, Utah. NOTHING. Sigh.

I can’t get my blogroll to work on this Wordpress template. I recently realized how LAME I am for not having a blogroll, so I am going to work on a post with ALL the blogs I read (there are zillions) and then I’ll post THAT post as a page. Sorry to all of you who I read and I don’t currently give linky love to. I’ll fix it, I swear. It’s just going to take a while because there are A LOT of you.

And now that I’ve let my brain explode all over the computer screen (you’re welcome) I am off to do, like, work stuff. Unless I can find something else to distract me . . . hmmmmmm

**Edited to add:  I just realized it’s my psuedo half birthday!!! (Since there’s not a June 31st you see.)  That also means it’s Miss Molly’s half birthday as well!  Happy Half Birthday to us, birthday twin!  Yaaaaay!

June 25th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

I finally have a new boss.  I totally love him and am SO excited to work for him.  So excited I can’t even tell you.  NOT having a boss is so not as cool as it sounds.  It’s boring as crap.  So, new boss + Kate = TLA in a non gross way (a lot because he sort of reminds me of a really non-annoying John Lovitz.  A lot more because he’s my boss.  But I have to love him because he plans to incentivize (is that even a word???)  me with lots of money.  And after New York Shoppingstravaganza?  I needs me some of that.)(Holy long and retarded parenthetical Batman.)(ALSO?  LESS THAN A MONTH UNTIL BATMAN!!!  Mmmmm Christian Bale.)  Woah, weird.  Moving on.

So now, with new genius marketing boss, the list of things we have to do?  Oh it’s endless.  The time we have to do it in?  Nonexistent.  Also, more travel appears to be on the horizon.  Boston in July . . . possibly DC in August, Vegas in September, maybe Boston again in October . . . wOAh.

What this means is that, at least for a little while, I am SWAMPED.  So um, I might not be, like, blog present, for like, awhile here.  I know you’re all crying right now.  Sobbing hysterically, really, right?  No?  Just me?  That works too.

I’m sure I’ll still be around . . . I mean my ten year reunion is this weekend and you KNOW I’ll have lots to say about THAT.  I just won’t be AROUND around . . . if you know what I mean.

And with that, I’m off to market stuff.  Riiiight.

June 19th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Am I crazy for being shocked at how completely INSANE cab drivers in New York City are?  Even if it means I’m crazy, I’m SHOCKED!

So far I’ve:

Witnessed a screaming “f-you” fight between two cabbies while myself and a mother with two very small children were their passengers.  It was on a one lane, one way road.  My driver was mad at the other driver for . . . taking up too much of the road???

Been screamed at for not having cash for my cab ride.  Don’t install a CREDIT CARD MACHINE if you’re not willing to ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS.  The guy called me a “b***h whore.”  Uhhhhh thanks?

Had a cabbie INSIST that I was at the right place, despite my adamantly disagreeing and NOT being in the right place.  He’d gone to the east side and not the west side.  I had to WRITE the address down for him to convince him.

Been dropped off TWICE and told my destination was “a block or two back down this road.”  Aren’t I paying for a cab so I don’t have to walk several blocks??  If I wanted to walk a few blocks I would have WALKED or taken a subway.  Sheesh.

I guess a solution would be to stop taking cabs . . . but that would mean getting up earlier in the morning.  And we all know that isn’t going to happen in THIS lifetime!

June 18th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Right now it’s 9:00 AM Arizona time and I’ve been awake for almost seven hours.  Usually?  I’ve been up for an hour and a half or so.  This whole three hour time difference is kicking my butt!!

Other than the time difference, I love me some New York.

I walked around for hours on Monday afternoon, just taking it all in.  It was an amazingly beautiful day, aided by the rain that came and went throughout the day.  It was humid, but there was a nice breeze and the temperature was awesome.  I ate Lombardi’s pizza and just had a great, exhausting day.

My hotel is a little boutique-y place with rooms the size of tissue boxes, but it’s SO adorable, I just love it.  The doorman already knows me by name and has recommended some great little diners for breakfast.  Love.

Tuesday was interesting and fun.  Someone stole the plasma screen I use as a display in our booth while it was in transit from Phoenix.  It cut my set-up time in half, which was nice, but it wasn’t exactly a pleasant thing to discover.  I used the saved time to go shopping on 5th Avenue.  I went to Zara and H&M.  Aaaah bliss.  I didn’t buy anything at Zara but can’t say the same for H&M.  There was some damage done.  Oh how I love that store . . . AND there’s another one a few blocks from my hotel which I will hit up today.  I looked at the window display and they have totally different stuff.  Sweet.   There was a cocktail event for the show I’m attending that night and it was . . . boring, to say the least, especially for a girl who doesn’t drink.  After dinner I met up with my fantabulously amazing cousin (and namesake) Katie.  We went to a place in the East Village called Caravan of Dreams.  I must admit I was terrified at first because it was a Vegan Kosher Organic restaurant.  Uhhhh . . . yeah.  But then?  I was totally surprised.  Everything we had was fantastic!  The grilled tofu was even delicious and I do NOT normally like tofu!  We had a great time and great conversation.  My little cousin has turned into and amazing woman and I’m excited to spend more time with her later this week.

Today is ALL show.  7:00 AM to 9:00 PM SHOW.  I’m on booth duty pretty much the entire time, so while the retailers are in session I have a few minutes to catch up on email and do some other work stuff . . . and to blog.  Duh.

Well I’ll end the rambling, but that’s my New York update!  Love and kisses!!

June 13th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Well I leave today for my whirlwind trip to the East Coast. I spend the weekend in the big PA with my family, then hitch a train ride to the NYC on Monday for work. The trade show is Tuesday through Thursday then I get to spend the weekend with my overachieving younger cousin in her not one, but two fancy loft apartments. We get to chooooose which one we want to stay in. Oooooh, aaaahhh. She’s very cool and very hip and I’m hoping can show me stuff I’ve never seen before in New York. If she can get away from her 90 hour a week job, that is. Wealth and awesomeness, at least in her case, has it’s trade-offs. Ahhh Wall Street.

I’m really really excited. I LOVE being back east, especially during this time of year (um, someone please tell the heat wave to vamanos, yes?). I’ve got lots of shopping to do because I need an outfit for my ten year high school reunion the NEXT week . . . plus it’s New York. And there’s an H&M. That’s three stories (two? three? I don’t remember. HUGE.). There’s also Soho and the Garment District and so much fun stuff to do.

Also, food. OH the food. Any recommendations from those of you who’ve been there recently? I’m always up for suggestions!

I’m also going to make an attempt at culture . . . I’ll fo’ sho’ see a Broadway show, since hi there! I’m Kate. I’m in love with Broadway. I’m also planning a trip to The Met, which I’ve (shh don’t tell) never been to before. There also an LDS Temple in Manhattan which I am planning to spend some time at as well. I’s very excited.

So, on Friday the 13th, off I fly. I’m not really a superstitious person, but I’m sort of hoping everyone else is so that I have a plane to myself. I’m not counting on it, but a girl can dream, right??

April 27th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Well hello there.

I am currently lounging in a fancy bathrobe next to my Mama, who is also in a fancy bathrobe, in a fancy hotel owned by Chain ala Marriott.  (Um, seriously, the SHEETS!?  Amazing.  Also, the Bath & Body Works concoctions in the bathroom?  Fughettaboutit.)

You’ll forgive me for not writing a Soap Opera Sunday today.   I had lots of best friends to see, cute babies to hold and giggle with, lots of crab legs to eat, and lots of hotel lounging to do.  And tomorrow there will be skiing.  I am both excited and frightened.  Mostly excited.

So, I might be missing for the next few days, but then again I might not.  I mean if I can blog from bed . . .

April 25th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Um, hi.  I am super swamped and a little overwhelmed and um, a bad blogger.  Yeah that about sums it up.

The play I’m in is taking over my life.  And I wish I were happy about that.  Hate the play.  Hate my character.  Hate it all.  SO that’s awesome.  I have an eight hour rehearsal tomorrow that, as you can tell from the last sentence, I’m not exactly thrilled to attend.

There is a silver lining to my cloud though.  Tomorrow night I am flying to Utah to spend Sunday with friends and family and then, horror of horrors, I am being forced to go skiing on Monday (for work!!  I get to spend the day skiing and call it work!!) then spend the next two days at a user conference for one of our largest clients.  They just needed a body, and this body thought . . . I get to go home and spend time with my family, THEN go skiing, THEN meet the cool people at our clients office THEN spend Wednesday when the conference is over hanging out with friends in Salt Lake?  SOLD.  So I volunteered to be the body.  Lucky for them, the body they selected is one of the only people who knows how to assemble our booth.  So they killed many birds with one stone.  AND I GET TO GO HOME!  I wish I had more than just Sunday to see everyone I need to see, but still!  One whole day!  And I don’t have to pay for it!  Whoopee!

So um, I’m getting ready for the trip as well as spending all day at practice.  And attempting to find ski gloves, hats, pants and the like.  Because I, um, live in Phoenix and have no need for ski gear of any sort.  Bathing suits, yes.  Ski clothes, not so much.

With that stupid update, I’m off.  Friends in Utah, see you soon.  Friends in Phoenix . . . wait, I don’t have any of those.  Nevermind.

April 16th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

He has been moved to another section of the company.  I didn’t even have time to GO to HR to suggest it.  It just . . . HAPPENED.

[Insert Twilight Zone theme music here]

April 15th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Dear Super Engineer and Cubemate,

When they first announced you were moving to my little pod of cubes, I was excited to get to know you. You seemed like the world’s nicest guy. I thought maybe sitting near someone as obviously brilliant as you are might rub off on my blondeness. I thought we could be friends and you’d feel less awkward around the office. heard rumors of how difficult it is to sit near you but I thought people were just being rude and not trying to get to know you. I thought I just needed to give you a try and be nice to you and all would be well in the world.

So far . . . it’s not going so well.

Your non-stop comments about my approach to sales calls WHILE I AM ON SAID SALES CALLS is about to drive me to drink. I know what I’m doing. I’m good at my job. I’m SUPPOSED to get clients interested in our product, not scare them away with technical mumbo-jumbo. Also? THEY CAN HEAR YOU. They keep asking me “what was that?” after you’ve made some smarta** remark. You need to stop right now before I’m forced to jump over the cube and punch you in the neck. You sit in the Sales & Marketing Department. We talk to clients. You develop software for clients. CLIENTS PAYS DA BILLS. Capiche?

Another thing . . . the whole mumbling to yourself all day thing is a little disconcerting. It’s just loud enough that all of us around you think you’re talking to us. Then you get offended when we interrupt your train of thought. There’s a reason people refer to an INNER monologue. It’s to be kept INSIDE.

And last but not BY ANY MEANS least, the belching and farting have GOT.TO.STOP. I spend half my day dry heaving as you (loudly and aggressively) let your bodily functions get away from you. I don’t care if you have a medical condition or if it’s just from those damn energy drinks and 64 oz jugs of Diet Coke you drink. It’s not normal. It’s also not normal to not at least ATTEMPT to stifle the noises or at the VERY least, say excuse me. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but there are OTHER PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. Specifically, people like me who are forced to sit near you eight hours a day.

Already today I’ve counted eight loud belches and two farts. IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. It’s all I can do not to vomit, yell at you or open a vein and end it for myself already. However, I hate vomiting, I’d like to live, and yelling at you would be a mistake since, during the last four years, I’ve seen two people fired for yelling at you. It seems you belched some sort of magical powers onto the upper management of the company or something because you’re untouchable. Either that or no one wants to come near the stench.

And you just burped again. SERIOUSLY???? This has got to stop. Or one of us has GOT to move. Or get a new job.

Sincerely,

The girl trying not to upchuck and/or kill you from the cube next door

March 21st, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Um, I keep trying to write something interesting and witty but it seems my brain has left the building. So I’ll give you boring and lame instead, k?

Today I fly to California to be sealed in the temple to my Mom, sister and Dad-and-a-half. I’m very excited. I’ve worked out the trauma with the ripped temple dress and have all elebenteen outfits packed and ready to go. It’s sad that I have to check a back for a 48 hour trip, but what can you do, right? A girl needs a hundred outfits to choose from. And shoes to match.

In other news, I’m having a fantastic hair day, thanks to my nifty $2.50 Velcro rollers. I forgot how wonderous those things are. Ten pounds of hair sitting flat on your head? Not to worry! Velcro is here. Poof! Body! Well, at least for an hour or so. Now I wish I were going to see someone today who cared about my great hair day.

Rather than do something exciting at work (hahahahah), I have a three hour meeting in a room with twelve stinky boys. And when I say stinky, I mean stinky. The burper/farter from the cube next to mine will be in attendance as well as 11 of his other equally socially awkward cohorts. They’re smart, great guys but seriously. Showers? Personal hygiene? COMMON COURTESY? Last week in the first version of this meeting, the burper belched SUPER loud and no one did anything about it. What the crap?? My participation in this meeting basically includes calming everyone down as they fight about what it is our company actually does and breathing through my mouth so the stench doesn’t infect me. Oh and figuring out how to market what we have. Again, hahahahahaha. I tell you what, it’s going to be a par-tay.

On that note, I leave you with the happy news that TOMORROW I GET TO EAT PEEPS AND STARBURST JELLY BEANS!!!!!!!! I’m not excited at all.