December 30th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

OHMAGOSH in sixty seconds I turn 30.  3-0.  Nevermind, make that right now I’m 30.  And we’re 24 hours exactly from 2011.  Holy.  Crap.

I’m not going to lie, 29 was a little (ok a lot) rougher than I would have liked it to be.   It started out OK.  I lost 18 lbs, I was working out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week.  I had a fairly new job I liked, a trip to Greece planned and I knew it was the year to start our family.  There were some fun surprises and then unfortunately, right around the end of June we turned a bad corner in Casa de Murph and have been sort of treading water ever since.  My hormones haven’t been stable since May and thanks to them I’ve gained back all my weight plus some despite keeping up a decent workout routine and quite frankly my emotions are shot to hell.  This was so not the way the first day of 30 looked in my head.

But.

There were so many amazing things that happened this year, too.  Even if it was for a very short amount of time I had not one but two tiny lives inside of me.  Despite not having the physical proof, I became a Mother at 29.  I found a new level of love for my husband.  I got to have my sister move five seconds away from me.  I became closer to old friends and discovered deep love for new ones.  I played and I laughed and laughed and laughed.  Then I cried a bit.  And then I laughed some more.

This year I experienced horrifying lows but they were always followed by highs and new rays of light and hope.  In 2010 more than any other year of my life I think I truly lived.

I’ve decided 2011 is my year.  My stepfather (who passed away almost seven years ago) always told our family his favorite number was 11.  One and one, together.  He’d hold up his two pointer fingers and show me by shoving them in my fave and laughing.  He insisted he marry my Mom on the 11th and always pointed out anything with 11 to any of us.  He loved that number in a weird but awesome way.  Now I’m sure he’s up there in Heaven giddy with excitement for it to be 2011 and to send us some sugar down here.  I truly cannot wait.

Bring it, 30.

December 25th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

At the end of this Christmas Day I’m so grateful for so many things.  For you, my friends.  For my wonderful family - those who are here with me and those far away.  I’m extraordinarily grateful that my Grandpa made it through lung cancer and three strokes this year and was able to tell me he loved me tonight when I called.  I’m grateful for the wonderful man who chose to be my husband, for all he does for me and all he puts up with.  But above all I’m grateful for the birth of Jesus Christ and for the faith I have in Him.  I’m so amazingly thankful for the knowledge that none of the pains, great or small, that I may suffer in my life go unnoticed and that He is my loving brother who came to this earth with a divine purpose and through Him we can all have eternal life.  May I never forget the true reason for this season.

Merry Christmas and love to all.

December 20th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

Saturday night we went to dinner at my favorite burger joint (and it’s not really a joint, it’s more like a high end restaurant that really only serves burgers but that’s not really the point so I don’t know why I even bother to explain!) for my brother Patrick’s 24th birthday.  He had just flown in from Utah and the day before my Dad and Aunt Kathy had arrived from their far away homes of China and Brazil.  We had an absolute blast.  Within half an hour my brother had compared himself to Kobe beef, my Dad had hit the table so hard that half the restaurant went deaf and my brother had taken off his shirt.  I’m not even joking.  We laughed until we cried and were so rowdy I’m sure there were people at the restaurant complaining but we were having fun and didn’t get kicked out so that’s a plus. 

Then all weekend we’ve baked and cooked and played cards and laughed and yelled and hooted and done so many fun things together.  There are moments of stress because it’s the Holidays and we’re all sort of squished in one place, but overall, we’re having a complete blast.  I took a step back yesterday and watched the joy all around me and it made me realize and appreciate how much I truly love my family.

We’ve had our share of drama.  Two divorces, lots of drug problems, plenty of minor mental illness for all, stuff that’s hard to even describe…but through it all, I can truly say that I wouldn’t trade my siblings for the world.  I love my parents for who they are and for the things they’ve taught me.  And I love how much fun we all have.

My Dad can make me laugh harder than anyone alive.  He always believed in me and helped me understand that I could do and be anything I wanted to.  Plus, he’s affectionate.  I’ve never ever thought he didn’t love me and he’s never been scared to say it or show it.  This is something he taught my brothers as well.  I’ve never ended a conversation with either one of my giant, manly brothers without them telling me they love me and, if we’re in a person, a huge hug. 

My Mom is amazing.  She is always singing or humming and despite a life that belongs in a soap opera or fiction novel, she’s happy no matter what.  She’s trusting and faithful and wonderful and I love everything about her.  And bonus!  She’s also affectionate!  I always got hugs and love and we could always pile in her bed if we needed a snuggle.  She taught me how to be strong and independent and confident and so many things that have helped me succeed.  She can also make me laugh just as hard as my Dad.

My sister…there aren’t really words.  She’s amazing.  We didn’t get off to the greatest start but as we’ve grown we’ve both come to realize how much we can learn from each other.  She is my hyper, tiny sidekick.  We make up dances, we laugh until our sides hurt and we have a blast.  But she’s also been there for me through some of the hardest things that have happened in my life and I love her so much it almost hurts my heart.

I see all around me people who don’t like their families very much.  They don’t talk to their parents or their siblings.  They don’t spend holidays together, getting food coloring stained on their hands from decorating cookies or watching their sister accidentally get in the wrong car of the grocery store parking lot.  They don’t get to sit on the couch with their Dad and watch him laugh until he cries while watching a movie or get woken up by a dog pile of siblings in the bed.  They don’t sit around the dinner table after eating a ginormous meal and talk about family traditions or funny things that happened when they were kids.  It makes me feel sad and lucky all at the same time.

As I get older I appreciate more and more what an amazing blessing it is that our family has chosen to remain close.  And trust me, it’s a choice.  Just because we’re all awesome doesn’t mean we don’t fight and want to kill each other sometimes.  But we’ve always chosen to get past it and I’m so so glad.  I count my family as my greatest blessing and I feel pretty lucky to have them.  Even when they are eating me out of house and home and I have to go to the grocery store for milk for the fifteenth time since Friday.  I guess they’re worth it.

December 15th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

You guys, I’m almost certain that I’ve lost my brain.  As in it fell completely out of my head and is gone forever.

Lately I can’t remember ANYTHING.  I have been telling this poor friend of mine I’d come over and check out her serving dishes for weeks.  “Tonight for sure!” I’ll say.  Hahahhaha yeah right.  It’s probably never gonna happen.  In the morning I’ll remember that I rescheduled my voice student and then that night when it comes time to go teach them?  You can find me sitting on the couch watching Vampire Diaries and eating something made of lard and sugar.  I’m all over the map and it’s friggin’ annoying.  I’m not sleeping well but I’m tired all the time.  I’ll crawl exhausted to bed at a reasonable hour and proceed stare at the ceiling forever.  Then of course I can’t wake up in the morning.  Or do my job.  Which lately?  Has been nothing but spreadsheets.  SPREADSHEETS.  I said this on my Facebook status and I’ll say it again.  If someone would have told me nine years ago as I was singing and dancing my little heart out that I would end up doing nothing but spreadsheets with N-U-M-B-E-R-S in them for two weeks straight as my JOB I would have shot myself on the spot.  I’d like to shoot myself now but my Dad is flying in all the way from China on Friday and I turn 30 in two weeks and I’m having a party so I should probably wait until after then.  Just saying.

As a small aside, that paragraph?  Was a huge old mess.  It shouldn’t even be allowed to be published but I think it’s fitting for my current mental state so I’m leaving it.  I apologize profusely to all of my English teachers who are either rolling over in their graves with shame right now or searching for a way to get in a grave so they can do so.  I also apologize to Anne Thomas Eliason and her perfect grammar.  Please don’t break up with me over this.

My next two weeks aren’t going to get any better.  I’ve got non-stop guests and trips to the airport until at least the 4th of January, a big Christmas Eve dinner, a 30th (EEEK!) birthday bash and I’m still not done shopping for Christmas.  Thank heaven for online shopping and free shipping is all I can say.  I’ve got until Friday to finish everything off or I’m going to have to actually go to a mall or something.  Judging by my current status I think I’d get lost there and never come home.  Someone would find me sleeping in a bed in the home section of Macy’s.  And don’t even get me started on wrapping.  I have a sickness, people.  A matchy-matchy coordinated wrapping and bow sickness.

On a positive note, I am getting my hair colored for the first time in six months tomorrow (don’t judge me) so maybe covering over the blonde/gray/white hairs will help my brain reconstruct itself.  I’m not really counting on it but I’ll keep you posted.  Maybe I will walk out of the salon tomorrow doing complex equations and solving the world’s problems.  Or at least knowing where I parked my car.

December 8th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

Some of my most favorite life memories involve my Grandma.  She has been my best friend for my whole life.  We don’t look much alike but I like to think I’m her mini-me, personality wise, although she’s much mellower than I am…

My Grandma was born in a tiny town in Ohio and her father was the only doctor in the county.  She had a super cool, eccentric mother and grew up very posh.  She attended an all-girls college and was engaged to someone else when she met and got engaged to my Grandpa.  Scandalous!  Once I asked her why she decided to leave the other guy for Grandpa and she told me that Grandpa was the big man on campus, the hottest guy she’d ever seen and she just couldn’t say no to those blue eyes!  They made quite the couple.  Their wedding pictures look like something out of a magazine.  I wish I had some scanned in to share.  They were both so unbelievably beautiful it takes my breath away.

Grandma was (and still is) gorgeous. She actually modeled for quite a long time and has always been one of the most fashionable, beautiful women I’ve ever seen.  She is the epitome of class. As long as I can remember her hair has been looooong but she keeps it up in a neat bun.  I used to spend hours sitting on her bed helping her brush her hair and then helping her pick out her meticulously matched outfits and jewelry.  My love of shoes and clothes (and shopping!) comes directly from her. 

The family travel bug started with Grandma, I’m sure of it.  When my Mom was growing up in Yugoslavia, Grandma used to cram all the kids into their Volkswagon Vanogen and just drive somewhere fun for weeks at a time.  There’s a story about one summer she decided to camp on the beach outside of Venice.  They spent a few days there and then one rainy day noticed everyone else was packing up to leave.  Turns out some sort of hurricane like storm was blowing through.  Grandma refused to leave.  She wanted more time on vacation so they battened down the hatches and stuck it out.  By the next day Mom claims the weather was great again AND they had the beach to themselves.  Grandma took them skiing in the Alps and all over the US.  She loved to ski as much as the kids did.  I remember growing up getting little presents from India, Australia, all over Europe, Russia and even Africa.  Now that she’s older she hasn’t stopped traveling at all.  She recently went on a 15 day African Safari and slept half the time in a tent.  The year before that she went to Nepal and slept on cold cement floors at high elevations.  She is my travelling hero.  She has hundreds of photo albums filled with pictures of her amazing trips and she loves to talk about them.  I remember once she even braved Disneyland with all four of us kids…by herself!  I’m so glad I inherited the love of travelling and adventure from her. 

The other thing I definitely inherited from Grandma is a love of entertaining.  She has at least ten different sets of china and elaborate place settings to match.  She has cupboards full of chaffing dishes and serving-ware and is a master of presentation.  Her Christmas table is one of my favorite things.  She throws a yearly block party for Christmas AND for the 4th of July.  The whole neighborhood looks forward to her parties.  I dream of throwing parties the way she does and I’m working on building up my China collection.  I’m also working on learning her recipes so I can impress everyone’s taste buds like she does too. 

On top of the entertaining, she is so warm and welcoming.  Her home is always open to guests and company.  The door to their house is never closed or locked.  Friends and neighbors know they can always walk in and just shout “hello” as they do.  My girlfriends and I have been vacationing at her house since we were 14.  She loves my friends like her own grand-kids.  We are always welcomed with huge hugs and tips on where to go for the best time on our trip.  She even lets us stay at the house when she and Grandpa are gone!

When she was 55, Grandma went back to school and got a degree in interior design.  Grandpa likes to joke and say the only home she ever decorated was his.  The house really is beautiful.  She redoes a room about every year and her taste is impeccable.  Her home is my second home and I love being there.  She also goes ALL OUT for Christmas and the house transforms into the North Pole in California.  She’s been slowly giving me the kind of Christmas decorations that she has so someday I get to have the North Pole in Arizona (or wherever I end up living).

As you can see, I might just have the coolest Grandma ever.  She’s fun, and happy and wonderful to be around. She’s also our family’s quiet, strong hero.  She had to deal with a lot in her life (I know it doesn’t sound like it but trust me on this one) and she has handled it all with poise, grace and a smile.  I dream of someday being half the woman she is and I’m so very lucky God let me have her as my Grandma.

December 7th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

I’ve spent a good part of my (almost) 30 years laughing.  I’m so very glad that I was born into a family full of fun and humor.  I’m also glad I was lucky enough to be friends with some of the funniest people alive growing up - and lucky I’m still friends with then now!  I’m also lucky to be married to the king of under-the-breath, subtle hilarity.  I’ve got some seriously funny people around me all the time and it makes my life awesome.  

I have more memories of laughing than I do of anything else.  Sometimes it’s just a snippet and sometimes I have the whole back-story to go with it, but I love that I have so many funny moments to look back on when I’m having a not so funny moment.  I truly hope to die with the deepest laugh wrinkles anyone has ever seen.

It’s hard to write down all the moments of laughter.  How do you try to explain why it was so funny that your friend said “my mom is going to crap a bank” and then showed you what that might look like?  How do you describe your brother’s ability to pull his mouth completely away from his teeth and then start BARKING?  How do you put into words all the nights the driver of whatever car had to pull over because the six ladies crammed into it were laughing so hard no one could see or function and you were afraid you were going to get into a crash?  There are little things that can trigger a memory of laughter and make me laugh all over again.  A marshmallow ripped in half, the phrase “rhapsody in the rain,” a reminder of curlers and brush microphones, the cartoons Hercules, Tarzan and Emporer’s New Groove, the movies Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, French Kiss, Clue, Knight and Day, the word “debris.”  In college we created a quote board and hung it on the wall.  I still have it and it’s still hilarious…but only to those of us that were there.  My life has been full of laughter and inside jokes and joy and every year I add more hilarious moments to my list of favorites.  I can’t wait to spend the next 30…40…50…60…(we’re going to stop there.  Seriously.) years laughing my head off.

December 2nd, 2010 by Kateastrophe

29 days to go until I’m the big 3-0.  I’m not sure if the countdown is hurting or helping but I guess the day is coming no matter what, eh?

Both of my parents are big time travelers and both lived in foreign countries at some point before they got married.  My mom’s father was an undercover CIA agent (SO COOL, right?!) and his first big assignment was in the former Yugoslavia where his cover was being the doctor for the US Embassy and he was also in charge of gathering secret information.  They were in Belgrade for almost six years.  They vacationed on the beaches of Italy, my Mom learned to ski in the Swiss Alps…basically the coolest childhood EVER.  She has continued to travel all over whenever possible.

My Dad learned Spanish in high school and college and has a sister who has lived in Brazil for the last 35 years doing service work for the Catholic church so he had always wanted to travel the world.  He decided to get a Masters Degree in Recreation Management but chose a program that sent him to Central and South America for a year to set up camps and other things for the people there.  Then, after my parents divorced my Dad got a huge job opportunity in Mexico City (made possible because he spoke fluent Spanish) so he lived there for five years.  Then, after doing such a good job there his company opted, despite him not knowing a syllable of the language - to China.  He’s been there for most of the last 15 years.  The job has taken him all over China as well as into India, Thailand and even parts of Europe.  As you can see, he travels a lot.

Basically, the wanderlust (well, more like travellust) is in my genes.  I love love love to travel and I do so whenever I can.  I’ve been very lucky to have the opportunities I’ve had to go all over the world.  My first trip on an airplane by myself took place when I was 5.  It was just from Denver to Los Angeles but still, I was by myself and I was absolutely thrilled to be on an airplane, dressed in my favorite dress, gloves and hat.  Not joking.  The travel bug was born.

 At 11 I spent an entire summer in Central Mexico, trying new food, meeting people and attempting (for the first and only time) to learn Spanish.  At 14 I spent a summer in China where I saw Hong Kong, the Great Wall, Mao’s Tomb, the Forbidden City and the Yellowstone of China.  Then I went back and did it all again (and more!) with my husband two years ago.  I’ve spent spent time in Mansion Villas in Puerto Vallarta, slummed it and stayed in Penthouses in New York City, beach houses in the Jersey Short, Florida Keys, Delaware and Long Island.  I’ve camped on the beach in Ensenada, Southern California and Florida.  I’ve walked across the Brooklyn and Golden Gate Bridges.  I’ve done some amazing things but my most favorite adventure was living in Europe for a summer in college. 

I had the chance to study theatre in London with a local college.  There I saw a play almost every day, studied Shakespeare, Contemporary and Musical theatre and my favorite, three days in Stratford upon Avon seeing the Royal Shakespeare Company perform from the front row.  I walked the halls of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, St Paul’s Cathedral, Windsor Palace and the National Gallery.  I saw a plays at the Globe Theatre and shopped at Harrah’s and memorzied my way around The Tube.  I made friends I will love forever and then together six of us decided to travel through “The Continent” for three weeks.  One guy and five girls. 

We had so much fun and so many random adventures it makes my head spin!   We did so many things.  Took wrong turns and ended up in Austria instead of Germany, saw naked drunk men chasing each other in giant tents in Munichgot robbed in Genoa by Gypsies(oh that story….for another day), fell in the Grand Canal in Venice, walked around the Duomo in Florence at sunrise, ate gelato until we were sick, pretended to push over the Tower of Pisa, were kissed by random Roman men on the Spanish Steps, got sunburned at the Cinque Terre, swam in the ocean in Northern Spain, climbed to the top of Notre Dame and the Arc de Triumph, saw the Mona Lisa at the Louvre, rode the train through the Chunnel…it was the most exhausting, amazing, unforgettable three weeks of my life.  Unfortunately I don’t have many pictures because my camera was stolen and somewhere in my many college moves the pictures I did have got lost.  At some point my friends and I will get all our pictures scanned in and share.  Well, they will.  Since I have none.  Sad face.  At least my memory of the trip is still pretty intact and I remember most of the things we did and saw in near perfect clarity.

I talk to Matt about going to Europe now and I can’t wait to go with him.  I know we’ll have a blast and definitely do the trip in a more organized, less crazy fashion, but sometimes I wonder if going back will ever be as grand as it was that first time.  I hope someday I have the ability to send my kids off to Europe with a few thousand bucks, a backpack and a sense of adventure like I had.  That time in my life was the craziest, happiest I’ve ever been.

December 1st, 2010 by Kateastrophe

I cannot believe it’s December.  Christmas is in 24 days and there are only THIRTY DAYS until I’m THIRTY. 

Holy johnnies.  That has to sink in for a moment.

When I realized how little time I have left in my thirties this morning I started thinking about all the fun things I’ve done in my life.  I’ve been to some amazing places and accomplished some amazing things.  I had some pretty proud moments as I flashed through them.  

I also started to thing about where my life has gone and where I’ve ended up as opposed to where my young, ambitious teenage self thought I’d be by now.  Things haven’t necessarily ended up how I pictured them.  That’s both good and bad but mostly good.  Overall it’s just extremely interesting!

In honor of my old age approaching, I’ve decided I’m going to dedicate this month to reflecting on my life.  There’s been good, bad, different and amazing.  I’ve had such a fun life I thought it would be fun to write down some of my favorite memories, times when I made life changing decisions or just fun things that came to mind about my life.  I love telling stories and I’ve got some doozies!

I’ll start tomorrow and see how it goes!