August 5th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

So I have a question for you married peeps.  Did you cry at your wedding?  Or even on your wedding day?

See, I didn’t.  I got a little blurry eyed when the sealer in the temple pronounced us married for time and all eternity but I didnt’ get any real tears because I was just so HAPPY!  Now, I’m not saying people who did/do cry aren’t/weren’t happy.  I was actually shocked that I didn’t cry because I’m a HUGE bawl baby.  I cry a lot.  At lots of different things.  So my expectation was that I would cry all the live long day.  But that day I didn’t.  It was almost like I physically couldn’t!

I remember my sister-in-law bursting into tears of joy when she and her husband were married.  I don’t remember if my sister cried but I don’t think so.  I have been to several other weddings but not a ton and I’m thinking it’s about 50/50 but I’m curious as to what you think. 

Anyway my point in asking this was . . . well there was really no point other than to introduce my topic which was that my little (HUGE) brother got married this last weekend!  I cried like a baby when she came down the aisle.  My sweet brother got all teared up too.  I’m sure everyone in the room did.  It was amazing and gorgeous and everything a wedding should be.  My youngest baby brother was missing which was rough.  He’s finishing up his Army training and we didn’t think he could come but then his commanding officer told him he could come and there was much rejoicing in the land until there wasn’t anymore.  The commanding officer of the commanding officer caught wind of it and said absolutely not.  We missed him a lot all day long.

There was some . . . interesting family dynamics taking place so there was some tension.  My parents are divorced.  Have been for 23 years.  Dad remarried about 14 years ago and we love our “other” Mom, Lisa.  But they are getting divorced now and the term “messy” doesn’t really adequately describe what’s going on here.  Also, Lisa has a new boyfriend and Dad isn’t so peachy-keen on that.  My Mom remarried about the time Matt and I got married and there’s been some weirdness there.  THEN the brides parents are divorced.  Her Dad has also been remarried for a long time but it seems that might not be working out either.  Do you see where I’m going with this?  Lots of people who used to be married but aren’t and lots of people who are married but might not want to be all in the same room for a family event where we all had to behave.  HIP HIP HOORAY!  Lucky for us we only had one “incident” and it was between the least likely parties - the “other” Mom and boyfriend.  Interesting and strange all at the same time.  And it didn’t really affect anything substantial so we all came out unscathed. 

The person who didn’t come out unscathed was one of the groomsmen.  Long story short, his ex-girlfriend showed up as a guest of an invited friend and that was no bueno.  He proceeded to drink himself stupid, have a fight with his NEW girlfriend and somehow found himself on the 15th floor of the Marriott pounding on every.single.door then passing out IN THE ELEVATOR but with his head OUTSIDE OF THE ELEVATOR while the door tried endlessly to shut.  We shall just call it a party in a box.  Security wasn’t so happy and neither was my just married brother with the threat of everybody being kicked out of the hotel if he didn’t handle the “situation.” 

Never a dull moment, right folks??

My only personal complaint for the whole day was that my hairstylist personage didn’t quite understand what I meant when I said I wanted a loose, sideswept bun type thing.  I ended up with a huge mass of curls shoved to one side.  It didn’t look bad it just wasn’t what I wanted and it took FOR-EV-ER.  Also, I don’t know what in the hell she did with hairspray and a curling iron but my hair might never recover.  My pride and joy, my once silky locks have turned into course, puffy . . . something that’s not my hair.  I’m using massive amounts of conditioner (which I never ever use) in an attempt to repair some of the damage.  We’ll see how it goes. 

Small pieces of drama aside, Sean and Kristin were married and happy and gorgeous like Ken and Barbie and we’re expecting Malibu Barbie babies at some point in the future.  I’m super excited to have Kristin in our family even though she is tiny and tan.  I look like a giant pale and tragic vampire next to her but what can you do?  She’s Polish (I think?) and I’m Irish (I know) and that’s just the way it is.  At least somebody in our family is likely to have tan babies.  Mine will for sure be iridescent. 

Wait a minute . . . how did I get from wedding to babies so fast?  I must totally be Mormon.  Weird.