April 29th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

Getting old sucks. 

 I realize this isn’t news to anyone and isn’t any sort of original thought but it’s been on my mind so I’m just going to talk about it.

I was at a birthday party a few weeks ago and they had a photographer there offering to take pictures of anyone who wanted them.  I happened to have done some awesome smokey eye make-up (if I do say so myself) and my hair looked AH-mA-Zing so I hopped right on the picture train.  Apparently this photographer had a lens with alien technology HD because when I got the pictures back they showed EVERYTHING on my face.  And for the first time, I saw fine lines appearing around my eyes.  Not the laugh lines, which I think are sexy because they show happiness, oh no.  These were the little fine lines under my eyes that aren’t sexy in any way shape or form.  As I was looking at the pictures and figuring out how to airbrush them myself, it hit me that I’m almost thirty and this is where it starts to go downhill fast.  Starting with the eye wrinkles.

And here’s the thing.  My skin?  Is pretty freaking awesome.  The advantage of being born see through is that I’ve always worn sunscreen.  Except that one summer where I tried my damndest to get a tan.  I was tan for ME but it wasn’t a real tan and I still looked like the cream filling in an Oreo if I stood next to my girlfriends.  WHO by the way would run up to me at random moments and shout “MAKE ME FEEL TAN!” and lift up their shirts to compare their golden tanned abs to my pasty white ones.  That’s how “tan” I got.  SO I gave up forever and now I’ve upped my sunscreen from 25 to 850,000 spf.  With zinc.  ANYWAY, what all of this means is that, apart from my freckly arms, I don’t have much sun damage anywhere.  I think I thought that this would mean I’d NEVER EVER get a wrinkle.  (Insert everyone’s hysterical laughter here.)  Reality you are a cruel, cruel friend.

The other thing?  I haven’t had kids yet.  And that means my first kid will absolutely 100% for sure be born after I’m thirty and the more I talk to my friends with kids, the more I hear that body recovery post-baby is harder after thirty.  Shoot me now.  Can’t wait to start.

And ANOTHER thing.  I never believed anyone about the whole “metabolism slowing down” bull.  I was always bigger.  I’ve never been a tiny girl.  I was 104 lbs in 5th grade.  I remember some girl coming out of our weigh in crying because she was 80 lbs.  And the boys didn’t even weigh 100 lbs!   I came out of that weigh in wondering if I sat on any of those tiny kids I could suffocate them with my hugeness.  I also started wondering if I should be playing football or doing something to take advantage of my bulk.  Naturally, I just stayed bigger.  I wanted to punch the girls in college who complained about being unable to maintain their 112 lbs.  Me skinny?  Is like 152.  And I ate like a trucker.  Cut to getting married at 24 and working my first real desk job where food was in front of me all.the.time.  Right about that same time, my metabolism hit the brakes.  Hello, 30 extra pounds!  I hate my life.

Anyway, I’m rambling (I bet you’re all SO SHOCKED).  I should have just left this post at the first sentence.  Getting old sucks.  And now, my big butt, my wrinkles and my dreading-having-a-baby-someday-body bid you adieu.

April 19th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

So far 2010 has been the year in which Kate bit off more than she could chew.  I’ve got a ton of stuff going on every week and while I’m loving, LOVING the things that are going on, the friends I’ve made and the changes in my life because of all the fun things that are going on, some days I just feel a lot overwhelmed.  Happy, but overwhelmed. 

As a result of the business of being busy, I’m having to reprioritze quite a few things in my life.  I’m a full blown TV addict with show after show after show that I HAVETOWATCH.  Then suddenly, when our DVR died a few months ago, and all the episodes I’d been saving up of several of my “favorite” shows were gone for good, the thought of searching for and catching up on all the missing episodes was just too much work, so I gave up the shows.  No more Project Runway, Gossip Girls, Bones, Brothers and Sisters, Parks and Recreation and a bazillion others.  Now I just stick to my three or four most favorites.  It’s been so liberating!

I’m doing lots of things I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.  I’ve cleaned out a majority of the junk in the extra bedroom that we’ve been lugging around since I moved to Phoenix.  I’m taking a beginning photography class online so I can finally learn how to use that fancy camera I bought a couple of years ago (PS - finding out that you’ve been doing it ALL WRONG for two years is a little annoying.  Way to go, me) and that’s been nice.  I’m collecting home decor pictures I like hoping to redecorate (or just plain decorate) the blank spaces in my house. 

Socially, I’m having a blast.  I’ve made some of the most amazing friends in our area and there are so many fun people doing so many fun things all the time.  We’ve had tea parties and hot tub nights and group dates and primping parties and I just burst with joy every time I think about these people and how lucky I am to know them.

I’ve kept off most of the weight I lost and I’m working out at least an hour, usually two hours a day.  I have a love/hate relationship with the four spin classes I take each week.  I’m madly in love with Yoga.  The elliptical machine has finally succumbed to me and I’m now the boss.  I’m feeling really good with where I’m headed here.

Blogging has obviously been part of what’s had to sit on the back burner.  I’m not sure if my creativity is being better used elsewhere or if it’s left me completely, but coming up with things to write that might be interesting to anyone is becoming more and more difficult.  That and I’m so busy the crazy things that usually happen to me when I’m bored aren’t so much happening anymore.  I still read ALL the blogs in my reader on a daily basis.  I thrive on reading about all of you and I wish I were better at commenting and letting you know I’m here.  I probably won’t be great at that for a while but trust me, I’m reading.

I’ve got a few funny stories up my sleeve that I will grace you with (baaahahah) coming up here soon.  I just wanted to say hi to my interwebs and let you know I’m still here chewing away at my crazy life.

April 1st, 2010 by Kateastrophe

Did you know that April is Autism Awareness Month?  And tomorrow is Autism Awareness Day?  As of about three years ago I’m VERY aware of it but before then I had zero idea whatsoever.  Naturally I knew Autism existed.  I knew it affected a lot of people but I didn’t know much more.  Then, right around the same time of the same year, two of my VERY best friends both discovered that their little boys were on the Autism Spectrum, and now I’m very, very aware of what it is and how much it can affect a family.

According to Autism Speaks:

“Autism is a general term used to describe a group of complex developmental brain disorders known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD). The other pervasive developmental disorders are PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not
Otherwise Specified), Asperger’s Syndrome, Rett Syndrome and Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. Many parents and professionals refer to this group as Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Today, it is estimated that one in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes and pediatric AIDS combined. An estimated 1.5 million individuals in the U.S. and tens of millions worldwide are affected by autism. Government statistics suggest the prevalence rate of autism is increasing 10-17 percent annually. There is not established explanation for this increase, although improved diagnosis and environmental influences are two reasons often considered. Studies suggest boys are more likely than girls to develop autism and receive the diagnosis three to four times more frequently. Current estimates are that in the United States alone, one out of 70 boys is diagnosed with autism.

What causes Autism?  The simple answer is we don’t know. The vast majority of cases of autism are idiopathic, which means the cause is unknown.The more complex answer is that just as there are different levels of severity and combinations of symptoms in autism, there are probably multiple causes. The best scientific evidence available to us today points toward a potential for various combinations of factors causing autism – multiple genetic components that may cause autism on their own or possibly when combined with exposure to as yet undetermined environmental factors. Timing of exposure during the child’s development (before, during or after birth) may also play a role in the development or final presentation of the disorder.”

One in every 110 children . . . 1 in 70 boys in the US.  I have a group of about 10 best girlfriends and between us there are 8 little boys.  Two of them are on the spectrum.  That’s just too many.

As I’ve spoken with my friends over the years about the challenges with their Autistic sons, I’ve realized that when an Autism diagnosis is given, the world becomes a very scary place for the parents.  As I imagine it, the conversation goes a little like this:

“There is something wrong with your child mentally and developmentally.  We’re not sure what causes it, we’re not sure how to fix it and we’re sort of aware of how to handle it, but not really.  We have a bucket for this illness called the Autism Spectrum and we’ll find a place on here somewhere for your child but it’s not a specific diagnoses, we just sort of . . . wing it and hope for the best IF you can get into the right doctor who can give you the right diagnosis.  The wait list to see that doctor is approximately eight million years.  We’ll try to get you in sooner.

Your child is probably going to be difficult at home and in social situations, but will look completely normal so no one will understand that there is anything wrong.  You may have a hard time taking him out in public without people wondering why you’re such a bad parent who can’t control their child.  Most likely he will suffer severely in the developmental area of communication which will frustrate you and your child enormously.  Making and keeping friends will be difficult for him . . . and possibly for you.

 Your child will probably be insanely strong and quite possibly not have any fear of injury or consequence.  In many cases he may not even express pain when he is hurt so you will have no idea.  In fact, it’s highly likely that he will attempt to hurt himself in attempt to feel.  Because of this, your child will most likely need constant supervision.  Hope you don’t need time alone ever again.

Some states offer a lot of help for children with Autism . . . but some don’t.  Let’s hope you live in one that does because then you’ll get some therapy and counseling and schools that cater specifically to your childs needs and that will hopefully help them overcome some of their challenges.  If you don’t, prepare to pay out the butt for these services or to uproot your entire family to a state that might help.

As for a cure . . . well . . . um . . . see . . . we hope to someday know where it comes from so we can someday try to fix it.  So . . . yeah.  Good luck!”

Basically, the whole thing is going to suck and be hard and frustrating.  And it will last a really, really, really long time.

I have been blessed to be able to spend quite a bit of time with both little boys in my life who are Autistic.  They are amazing little people.  They have so much love and so much joy but they suffer so much frustration trying to express themselves while (and this is my interpretation so don’t hold me to this) they’re a little trapped in their own brains.  They want to communicate their wants and needs.  They want to be independent and have all the fun in the world.  They want so many things, they just struggle to do so in a normal way. 

Their parents are angels from heaven with a level of patience I cannot even fathom.  The hours that have been spent researching, studying, waiting for doctors, sitting with therapists, volunteering, crying, praying and begging for help for their children cannot be counted.  Despite this fact, they speak often of the guilt they feel because they’re not doing enough or they’re neglecting their other children to help the one with “special needs.”  They are overwhelmed by the daunting task of raising this child and devastated knowing the challenges he will face for his entire life and yet they keep hoping and praying and researching and banging on every door and refusing to take “no” for an answer.  They are my heroes.

I will be wearing blue tomorrow in honor of Autism Awareness Day and I hope that you will join me.  Check out Autism Speaks to find walks in your area or to donate.  Hopefully someday, somewhere, someone will have an understanding of where Autism starts, how to prevent it and most importantly how to help the kids who have it live a normal life.  

I know I didn’t pay much attention until Autism had a face . . . or two.  Maybe it will help you.  Here are my beautiful, amazing, wonderful faces.  I’ll share them with you.