March 30th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

This is the time of year why us “crazy Phoenicians” live here in the hot place.  The weather in Phoenix right now is awesome.  AWE-SOME.  It’s been a balmy 70-85 degrees every day for the past two weeks.  AND I AM TRAPPED IN AN OFFICE NINE HOURS A DAY M-F.  Lamesauce. 

Our weekends are usually filled with cleaning and errands but this weekend Matt and I decided we had to get outside and do something in the gorgeousness, so we pulled the trusty Jeep out of the garage and went for a ride with the top off.  Not MY top off.  Pervs.  THE top off.  Of the JEEP.  Right.  Moving on.  To my hair.  My awesome, out of control Jeep hair.  It took me about thirty minutes to brush it out after we were done.  Isn’t it rad?  And this picture was early on.  You should have seen it three hours later.  HOT.

We drove toward the lake (there’s a LAKE!  In PHOENIX!) and then down into the city and then to a quaint little part of town with antique shops and furniture stores.  It was cute and quant and full of knick-knack crap that I just don’t really DO but we did get ice cream cones and that was totally worth it!  It was awesome to walk around town with a little breeze and shade trees (SHADE TREES!  In PHOENIX!). 

We ended our day with a fabulous Chipotle (a guy I used to work with called it Chi-pot-el and I laughed every time and now that’s just what I call it) burritos and a gorgeous sunset.  Phoenix?  Has AMAZING sunsets.  See?  (Disclaimer:  This was not a sunset from Saturday.  This was a few weeks ago.  But it might as WELL have been from Saturday because they’re all gorgeous.)

Sunday, as if we hadn’t had enough of the great outdoors, we decided to take advantage of the hiking trails our community so generously provided to us.  Granted, they only got us a few yards past the houses then we were off the beaten path.  It was pretty toasty warm, but the breeze felt good.  We were amazed at the wildflowers (WILDFLOWERS??  IN PHOENIX?) in purple, pink and yellow and the cacti are starting to bloom as well, and that’s always fun. 

As we started off the end of the path, Matt looked back and me and said “watch out for rattlesnakes (Seriously.  RATTLESNAKES.  In PHOENIX (getting old yet?))” and as if the rattlesnake gods heard him say that, immediately the bush next to me started making a noise that sounded suspiciously like a rattle.  Matt threw a few rocks at it (because he’s SMRT) but nothing ever came out to say hi, it just kept rattling at us.  I pray it was a big bug.  A little further down the path, I heard a strange rustling next to me again.  My immediate reaction was to scream but luckily I strangled that right in and look what we found!!

Yes, that is a desert tortoise.  IN PHOENIX!  He’s about two feel long and oh so cute.  I think he hated us because Matt kept trying to get closed and closer and then he told me to go nudge him in the butt.  I resisted for a bit but he finally talked me into it and BAM into his shell he went.  It was actually cute because I discovered that they pull their heads in and then cover their heads with their little front feet.  It’s as if he’s silently screaming and hoping his wee arms are enough to save his brain.  I guess luckily in his case they are.  In my case, not so much.

We hiked up for almost two hours and then we were like “screw this we’re going home.”  Which of course took us a long time because going down?  Sucks.  Lots of rocks.  Slippery suckers.  I fell down a couple of times.  Luckily not anywhere close to a cactus.  Which are also everywhere.

It would have been the perfect weekend if not for the GIANT CENTIPEDES WHO HAVE INVADED OUR HOUSE.  (GIANT CENTIPEDES!  IN PHOENIX!) The first one got sent down the bathtub drain, much to his chagrin.  The second one is probably freaking out in the canister of my Dyson as we speak.  I just picture him running around and around mixed in with the dust and red fuzz from our family room rug.  It’s actually sort of funny in my head . . . but probably not funny for him.

We finished our evening by watching Up! (yes, two grown adults with no children watched a cartoon for fun.  AND LIKED IT.  No judging) with the windows and doors open while I secretly freaked out that I was going to be eaten by a giant centipede.  Luckily that didn’t happen.  Yet.  Awesome.