March 30th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

This is the time of year why us “crazy Phoenicians” live here in the hot place.  The weather in Phoenix right now is awesome.  AWE-SOME.  It’s been a balmy 70-85 degrees every day for the past two weeks.  AND I AM TRAPPED IN AN OFFICE NINE HOURS A DAY M-F.  Lamesauce. 

Our weekends are usually filled with cleaning and errands but this weekend Matt and I decided we had to get outside and do something in the gorgeousness, so we pulled the trusty Jeep out of the garage and went for a ride with the top off.  Not MY top off.  Pervs.  THE top off.  Of the JEEP.  Right.  Moving on.  To my hair.  My awesome, out of control Jeep hair.  It took me about thirty minutes to brush it out after we were done.  Isn’t it rad?  And this picture was early on.  You should have seen it three hours later.  HOT.

We drove toward the lake (there’s a LAKE!  In PHOENIX!) and then down into the city and then to a quaint little part of town with antique shops and furniture stores.  It was cute and quant and full of knick-knack crap that I just don’t really DO but we did get ice cream cones and that was totally worth it!  It was awesome to walk around town with a little breeze and shade trees (SHADE TREES!  In PHOENIX!). 

We ended our day with a fabulous Chipotle (a guy I used to work with called it Chi-pot-el and I laughed every time and now that’s just what I call it) burritos and a gorgeous sunset.  Phoenix?  Has AMAZING sunsets.  See?  (Disclaimer:  This was not a sunset from Saturday.  This was a few weeks ago.  But it might as WELL have been from Saturday because they’re all gorgeous.)

Sunday, as if we hadn’t had enough of the great outdoors, we decided to take advantage of the hiking trails our community so generously provided to us.  Granted, they only got us a few yards past the houses then we were off the beaten path.  It was pretty toasty warm, but the breeze felt good.  We were amazed at the wildflowers (WILDFLOWERS??  IN PHOENIX?) in purple, pink and yellow and the cacti are starting to bloom as well, and that’s always fun. 

As we started off the end of the path, Matt looked back and me and said “watch out for rattlesnakes (Seriously.  RATTLESNAKES.  In PHOENIX (getting old yet?))” and as if the rattlesnake gods heard him say that, immediately the bush next to me started making a noise that sounded suspiciously like a rattle.  Matt threw a few rocks at it (because he’s SMRT) but nothing ever came out to say hi, it just kept rattling at us.  I pray it was a big bug.  A little further down the path, I heard a strange rustling next to me again.  My immediate reaction was to scream but luckily I strangled that right in and look what we found!!

Yes, that is a desert tortoise.  IN PHOENIX!  He’s about two feel long and oh so cute.  I think he hated us because Matt kept trying to get closed and closer and then he told me to go nudge him in the butt.  I resisted for a bit but he finally talked me into it and BAM into his shell he went.  It was actually cute because I discovered that they pull their heads in and then cover their heads with their little front feet.  It’s as if he’s silently screaming and hoping his wee arms are enough to save his brain.  I guess luckily in his case they are.  In my case, not so much.

We hiked up for almost two hours and then we were like “screw this we’re going home.”  Which of course took us a long time because going down?  Sucks.  Lots of rocks.  Slippery suckers.  I fell down a couple of times.  Luckily not anywhere close to a cactus.  Which are also everywhere.

It would have been the perfect weekend if not for the GIANT CENTIPEDES WHO HAVE INVADED OUR HOUSE.  (GIANT CENTIPEDES!  IN PHOENIX!) The first one got sent down the bathtub drain, much to his chagrin.  The second one is probably freaking out in the canister of my Dyson as we speak.  I just picture him running around and around mixed in with the dust and red fuzz from our family room rug.  It’s actually sort of funny in my head . . . but probably not funny for him.

We finished our evening by watching Up! (yes, two grown adults with no children watched a cartoon for fun.  AND LIKED IT.  No judging) with the windows and doors open while I secretly freaked out that I was going to be eaten by a giant centipede.  Luckily that didn’t happen.  Yet.  Awesome.

March 16th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

I keep laughing about this story so I thought I’d share it with the interwebs. 

A few weeks ago I flew to Columbus to see my Dad who was in the country from China where he lives most of the year.  We had a grand old time, hanging out with family and talking.  The only hinderance was the strict guidelines of the “Diet from Hell” (as I’ve been calling it lately).  It was a little harder to find things to eat when we were eating out all the time.

The last morning we were there, I awoke to a grocery bag full of “diet approved” breakfast food and Dad offered to make me eggs, one of his specialties.  I took him up on the offer with the stipulation that he had to use half the yolks because I couldn’t have that much fat.

He mumbled something under his breath and barrelled into the kitchen.  He was still sort of grumbling a few minutes later when I went in to offer my assitance and I noticed him leaning over a bowl with a cracked egg in his hand and a distressed look on his face.  He looked up and said “I can’t figure out how to do it!” 

“Do what?” I asked.

“Cut this damn yolk in half!”

I just sat down on the floor and laughed until my sides hurt.  My sweet Dad, trying so hard to follow my diet guidelines had thought I literally meant HALF yolks.  What I really meant was half of the yolks.  Four eggs, two yolks.

The light went off in his head as I laughed and pretty soon I had my delicious, half yolked breakfast.

I guess besides being hilarious it made me realize that my Dad loves me enough to attempt to cut a yolk in half, and that’s pretty awesome.

March 9th, 2010 by Kateastrophe

It’s been pretty busy up in the Murphy household (you heard me.  Up. In. The.).  Matt has been working up a storm, I’ve been working out a storm, a phrase which I realize makes absolutely NO sense but I’m using it anyway, and I’ve been keeping myself pretty busy with “social engagements.”  I had an (AWESOME) baby shower for a friend a few weeks ago, then a night out with the girls to bid farewell to a friend who was moving and then another friend who moved away last year is coming into town and we’re having an honest to goodness fancy tea party!  I cant’ wait.

I also have a new calling at church.  For those of you unfamiliar with the LDS religion, each of us is given a calling or “assignment” within the congregation.  Some are leadership positions, some are teaching positions and there’s a bunch of other stuff to do as well.  My new calling is Compassionate Service Leader, which means that I am in charge of making sure that anyone who needs a little extra help gets it.  This usally comes in the form of meals when there’s a sick parent or a new baby.  I’ve been helping out with this for the last couple of years but my partner in crime moved (mad at you Whitney!) and they put me in charge.  My first DAY on the “job” we had a new baby and a mother who had surgery.  Now, it’s not my job to provide all the meals, but I do need to coordinate them, so I had six meals ahead of me.  Luckily, the ladies I go to church with are amazing and it only took me a couple of days to get the whole thing figured out, but it’s a wee bit stressful to know that someone is relying on you for help.  Hopefully we can space out the injuries, surgeries and babies around here.  I hope the ladies are listening . . .

In other news, I’ve had a stalled week on the diet and am sort of stuck at 16.5 lbs down.  I’m not too discouraged, my body had to plateau SOMETIME.  However, the joy I expressed a few weeks ago at all the “amazing” food has faded and now I hate everything healthy and I just want to sit down with an entire (GIANT) pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese and drown myself in carbs and fat.  I’m not joking at all.  I added an extra three weeks to the original timeline and I might be regretting that decision, but I’m trying very hard to stick to it.  Last week I was in the bathroom washing my hands and I noticed that my favorite work pants looked HORRID on me because they gave me saggy dumpy butt.  I had mixed emotions because, hello, favorite pants — purchased for the amazing price of $2 — but hello, excitement that they were so baggy!   I am not allowing myself to clothes shop until I’ve been able to lose another ten pounds and maintain it for a little while.   This means there will be many saggy butt sightings in the next couple of months.  Thank goodness I kept a bunch of my “someday when I’m skinny again” clothes.  They’re FINALLY starting to come in handy.

On top of saggy but, people are finally starting to notice the weight loss.  I’m 5′8″ which is a blessing when I gain weight because 30lbs on me looks like a lot less than on, say a 5′2″ frame, but it’s a curse because when I lose ten pounds, nobody notices.  My saddle bags are slowly diminishing, the arms look skinnier and my face, thanks to the genes from my Mother, is startng to look a little gaunt.  Again, another blessing/curse.  I don’t ever get fat face, but when I lose weight, I start to resemble a concentration camp victim.  Fun times!

My husband has of course lost about as much weight as I have without any effort.  The a-hole.  If he keeps doing this, he’ll be skinny but dead, so I suggested last night that he start eating high fat so I can feel a little better about my sacrifice and he can keep his life.  It just seemed fair.

So there you have it.  My life in a nutshell.  Wheeee!

March 2nd, 2010 by Kateastrophe

Are you aware that if you deny your body carbs for long enough, at some point you might crack and sit down and eat two entire loaves of bread in one sitting?

I haven’t done it yet but if someone were to present me with two loaves of Wonderbread it would be ON.

16.5 lbs down and counting . . . sigh.