In Which My Vanity Causes My Death
January 13th, 2010 by Kateastrophe
Lately everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) in my office has been sick. The flu and a nasty bronchitis that takes two rounds of antibiotics have both been circling. My boss and I seem to be the only ones who were immune to the plague.
I felt pretty awesome about it. I was like “yeah, I exercise and eat my veggies. My immune system kicks your immune system’s BUTT!”
Well, my immune system can consider itself served because yesterday, after eight hours of feeling awesome and normal, at about 5:00, right as I was leaving to go home, I went from totally fine and healthy to “ohmagosh I think I’m going to die.”
It hit me just that fast. One minute I was chipper and happy and the next, I was ready to curl into a ball and cry. My ears were popping, my throat was screaming in pain and the snot was a-comin’. I went home, ate some dinner, took eight hundred vitamins, a decongestant and four advil, snuggled into the couch with a blanket and made it through exactly ten minutes of Scrubs. Then I was out-ski. I woke up for exactly ten minutes at midnight after dreaming of giant black sores on my throat (sssiiiicccck) to take more advil, a dose of NyQuil and get a cough drop. I slept until 7:15 this morning.
I decided to come to work for one (well, sort of two) superficial reasons. I’m getting my hair dyed today. My blondish roots are starting to make me look pretty white trash. Normally, I would just reschedule the appointment but not this week. Because next Tuesday? I have an appoinment for a haircut with a hair GENIUS. My boss is married to a celebrity hair artist and he has agreed to cut my hair. AND I AM SO EXCITED! He was the stylist for Melrose Place back in the day, and he continues to work wonders on Heather Locklear and a bunch of other uberfamous peoples. My haircut with him is absolutely contingent on the fact that I get my hair dyed prior to my appointment with him. The only time before Tuesday I can get in to get the color done is today. So I’m pretending, whilst unable to breath and swimming in Jell-o brain, that I’m not sick AT ALL.
So, to sum up, I’m so sick I think I’m dying but I’m at work because I’m superficial enough to be worried about getting my hair dyed. Sickness: 0 Kate: 10. If I’m dead tomorrow, I have my beauty to blame for it.
- Posted in Whaaaa?, The Awesome Continues
January 13th, 2010 at 8:38 am
I JUST got over that bronchitis crap! Uuuggghh, I so hope you don’t get it. I hope it’s just some bug that goes away in a few days…blegh. Can I blame you for being superficial and getting your hair done when you don’t feel well? No. Why? Because I’m the most superficial/vanity driven person here. I just hope you don’t pass out under the dryer or stop breathing when your hair is being washed. Ooh, and get some rest! I swear I was sick for three weeks because I wasn’t taking it easy..so, uh…take it easy. And I love you.
January 13th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Well, at least you’ll be able to confidently do an open casket.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:00 am
Hahahaha. I so adore you. I’m sorry you feel like such shi-shi, but you’re going to be SOOOO GORGEOUS! I can’t wait for photos– and who cares if there’s snot pouring out of your nose!? We’ll all me to mesmerized by your hair to notice.
January 16th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Yes. This is soooo something I would do. And for this, I love you. I live in a small town and I hate it. I live in such a small town that I REFUSE to get my hair done by anyone because of the horrific coifs that pass me by day-to-day. So. I got my hair done (cut and colored) TWICE this last year. Both times were when my BIL, from NYC, came to town. He is a famous hair colorist, don’t ya know, and my hair cannot live without him. So I wait for him. And over Christmas he brought a friend who does hair and makeup for an undisclosed TV network… who just happened to be kind enough to cut my hair for me. Loved the full NY treatment in the small town. It almost made me forget where I was…. almost. I think that makes me both really, really vain and not vain at all. Go figure.
January 17th, 2010 at 5:39 am
I, too, must see photos of Teh Hair. How fabulous!
I hope you are feeling better by now!