Maybe I should just say that today feels as though I woke up in the wrong bed entirely?
January 5th, 2010 by Kateastrophe
I really hate the days I wake up on the “wrong side of the bed.”
{Begin Tangent} Why do people say that? Only once in my life have I literally woken up on the wrong side of the bed. My head was where my feet should have been and I even had a pillow. I woke up because I kicked my husband in the face. For reals. And it didn’t make me cranky, it made for an awesome start to my day because I kicked him in the face and laughed for like an hour. {End Tangent}
Today is one of those days.
I stayed up late last night waiting for my husband and some of his friends - both of whom I’ve never met - to come home from the Fiesta Bowl, and I had to give up at midnight. Then of course they came home shortly after that riiiiiight as I was drifitng off. Matt came in and got in bed and proceeded to wiggle for what seemed like ten years. At first I just heard his foot slooooowwwlllyy rubbing across the sheet. Then he itched his leg. Then his arm. Then what seemed like his whole body. He was trying to do it gently but it was causing wiggles in the bed. Then he rolled over, which in Matt land is sort of like a walrus THROWING himself off a rock into the water. The man doesn’t slowly roll, he flails around, bounching me off the bed as if we’d been playing trampoline games. Then his phone vibrated on the bathroom counter and he absolutley HAD to get out of bed at 1 AM to see what it was. Then he got back in bed (felt like jumped) and proceeded to do the whole wiggling thing again. Finally I couldn’t take it and yelled “GOOD HELL MAN!” He meekly apologized and said his skin was “crawly.” In my half asleep grumpiness I explained that I didn’t care and he needed to HOLD STILL FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY. This apparently meant “put your hand on my butt” because that’s how he responded. I was annoyed until I realized that doing that apparently causes immediate paralysis in “crawly skinned” husbands. (I’ll note that for later.) I was finally able to drift off to sleep.
Until about ten minutes later when I remembered a huge work project we have to get started on and complete in two weeks. During my busiest time of the month. And we have a regional meeting here the day before it’s due. AND I have Jury Duty the day after. So then I was wide awake going over the details in my head. For about two hours. GAH!
Needless to say I pushed snooze for an eternity this morning, causing me to be late to work as well as be smack dab in the middle of the worst part of rush hour. Shoot me now.
Now I’m here and I’m alllllll sorts of grumpy-pants. I am so grumpy I have no desire to eat the delicious Sprinkles Red Velvet Cupcake sitting on my desk. Yeah, it’s bad. I have no idea how to get out of the grumpy funk.
How do YOU guys do it? Any great ideas? Help a grumpasaurus out!
- Posted in Whaaaa?, Some People Suck
January 5th, 2010 at 8:43 am
watching stand-up comedy of funny youtube movies has helped me out a grumpy mood before
but really if grumpyness comes from fatigue, only going to bed truly helps. When my husband rolls too much in bed, I am so pissed off. Usually I snear him “stop moving or get out of bed now” :p.
And the planning and worrying, …yep I recognise it all.
try to catch up sleep even though that message might not be attractive or realistic at this moment
January 5th, 2010 at 11:11 am
I actually said that to my daughter the other night. Oops. I’m talking middle daughter. She wouldn’t sleep, so I let her come in bed with me and then she flip flopped forEVER. Finally, I reached over and with miraculous strength, lifted her from the armpits whilst laying on my side, full lift over me and off the edge of the bed where I set her on her feet, patted her bum, and told her to go back to her bed. She whispered, Ok. And off she went. hmmm, bad mom?
January 5th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
I’m sorry, but this made me laugh the entire time I read it. My husband did the very same thing the other night, and I finally flipped over and said (kinda yelled) GOOD LORD, Will you PLEASE stop moving! Gaaaah. and he, of course, was like sorry, I didn’t realize that my inability to stop moving would wake you up, even when a hurricane or tornado can’t.
I hope you got in a better mood this morning
January 6th, 2010 at 9:38 am
Oh dude, I just roll with it. Cody has this super annoying habit that just as I’m getting all warm and toasty under the covers, he walks over and lifts them up super high to get in bed and lets in all the chilly air. Dammit! And he moves around, and snores, then spoons with me and then twitches. I swear…
When I wake up with Sir Grump, I honestly let it run it’s course. People telling me, “Aw, cheer up!” might as well say, “Aw, punch me in the throat!” because that’s what’s coming. Drive somewhere fast, eat something you shouldn’t, buy something expensive and don’t talk to anyone. Except call me later so we can chat. I promise I won’t blast sunshine at you!
January 6th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
You are the funniest! Get work over with, then go home, make something easy for dinner, take a long, hot, self-indulgent bath, and go to bed early. Until then? Hang in there.
January 12th, 2010 at 9:29 am
I laughed SO HARD when reading your adventure with trying to get your husband to stop fidgeting. I’ve only been married for less than a year and I can totally see myself doing that to my husband later on in our marriage. I sent this to my husband and he took note of the “putting the hand on the butt” if that was ever to occur…just in case. I enjoy reading your blog of your adventures! Thanks for being so great at being able to describe your experiences so eloquently!!
January 12th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Jewels is right. There is no way to de-grump but naturally, by the mysterious and slow secretions of the chillaxoid gland. The trick, if there is one, is not to grump in the first place.
But true and lasting freedom from grump, the object of many a good Buddhist and some Christians, is a difficult goal to attain. What the path is like for a woman, I cannot know. From a man’s perspective, I can say that having a favored woman’s butt to put one’s hand on certainly helps. There are certain other hand placements which are even more de-grumping.
And never hit your snooze button. She is a false mistress. A trickster. She makes you think you’re still sleeping, but by her regular peals, her periodic demands for attention, she robs you of real (deep) sleep. On a late night, when I know I’m going to want to sleep in a bit, I just re-adjust my alarm to my actual rising time. Come morning, I then spring out (!) of bed with a jump kick, completely cheerful. Or something like that.
January 13th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
I hate that. Love the details about the boy in bed. I feel like hubs does the walrus thing too! He gets mad when I roll over because “I don’t do it right” (I take everything with me, sheet, comforter, etc) so I guess we’re even