Loss
October 2nd, 2009 by Kateastrophe
I think I’m mourning the loss of my job.
I’m sure I’m not the only person who has felt this way after getting laid off, but I think it took me a little longer to figure it out.
The day I was let go I was given about twenty minutes to get my stuff and get out. There was a meeting in the conference room consisting of those who were being hired on and “they” didn’t want those of us who weren’t staying around causing any “trouble” with those who were. It was absurd, to say the least.
I worked at this company for five years and 22 days. 10,616 hours. I spent more time there than I spent at home. The job took me to Hawaii, Florida, New York, California and Nevada. My taste buds experienced misery and ecstasy on my business trips. My feet ached at trade shows as I showed off my hard work and helped create new business. I participated in some of the biggest deals in eCommerce history. I sweat, cried, bled, screamed, and laughed my way through my time there. And now it’s over. I had 20 minutes with which to consolidate five years of my life into a box. A BOX.
I tried so hard to keep it together as I was madly trying to decide what to keep and what to let go. I pretty much failed as the tears overflowed out of my eyes. I tried to hide them from anyone who walked by or offered to help but I’m sure they saw.
Three weeks later, there are still moments where the hurt is so sharp I almost cry out. I found a pile of business cards in the purse I was cleaning out last week and I had to sit down to cope with the profound loss I felt as I saw my name and title and realized it was mine no more. My box of crap is still sitting by the front door and I can’t force myself to go through it because I know every piece of paper or small trinket will remind me of a special moment or experience I had at a place that no longer exists.
I know I’ll get over it and, as my Dad says, they were doing me a favor. And that box isn’t going to sit there reminding me of my loss for much longer. I got three offers today and I’m pretty sure I’ve decided which job I’ll be taking.
Employment, I hope you’re ready for me. Because I’m coming at you with a vengeance.
- Posted in The Awesome Continues, Givin' it to the "Man"
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I finally unpacked my box and threw away my business cards today - I was laid off on June 30th. I probably wouldn’t have done it today but I needed to find the info for my 401K cause it’s time to bite the bullet, take the penalty and cash it in - it should keep us afloat another 2-3 months.
I don’t miss my job - I had grown to hate my job. I do miss having somewhere to go every day, and the paycheck to buy the pretty things I like, and mostly having a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
3 months and counting, and the job market here? well to say it blows would be an understatement.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Hey, they DID do you a favor! A 3-week vacation, right?
I know it never seems like fun to be “out of work” for any length of time, but I hope you at least tried to enjoy it while it lasted. Welcome back to the Force my friend.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
I think its important to take some time out to mourn the loss of anything that has had an impact on your life. It helps us appreciate things more. Now that your mouring is over, GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ASS!!! Good luck with your new position
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
good luck with the new job! New challenges will help you get over your loss, I hope
October 4th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
That was very poignantly written. Good luck with the job search, I hope you find a fulfilling position.
October 5th, 2009 at 7:22 am
Oh Darlin’, you have every reason to mourn the loss of something that you had put so much of yourself into, of course you do! And many folks spend more time at work than they do at home and of course a large part of their identities is tied up with it. So before you go on to your next chapter in your employment history, sit down, go through that box, have a box of tissues at the ready, sort out the stuff you want to keep and that really means something to you, dump the stuff that you could care less about now after a bit of distance, put the stuff you can’t decide on in a smaller box and put it in a closet, out of sight for a couple of months. Have yourself a good cry, then a treat (I like chocolate, but others go for ice cream, whatever lifts your spirits). Then wash your face, heave a big sigh and get on with the next adventure. And recognize how lucky you are to have found something already and to actually have a choice. There are a lot of folks out there right now who are envying those shoes of yours! Good Luck!!
October 5th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
yay for already having a job! that’s so exciting. woo woo.
October 5th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Grief is so hard! You’re a tough cookie, though. You’ll get through it. And it’s totally okay to be emotional about the whole thing.
And congratulations on the offers! You’re popular! You’ll get back in the saddle and be the better for your experiences.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Excellent. “All your job are belong to us!”
October 7th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
It’s strange, the things we grieve over! But of course you’re right! You HAVE to grieve this loss.
You’re so awesome. Congrats on all the offers and the new job. Can’t wait to hear all about it.