It’s like the witness protection program. Only I get to keep my job. And my friends. And my home. And I’m not running from anyone. Nor am I a witness. OK fine, it’s not like that at all.
July 31st, 2009 by Kateastrophe
Well folks, I’ve gone ahead and done it. After four years and two months of married life, I’m officially no longer a Cotter. I’ve been meaning to do it forever. I mean, I changed my Social Security information almost immediately after we were married. It was the passport, drivers license, bank accounts, checks, credit cards and such that I never changed. You know, the things you actually USE ON A REGULAR BASIS.
See? Kathryn Anne Cotter. A little blonder than I’d like, but there she is in all her glory. Also, please notice the expiration date. I think I’ll die before this thing expires. But wouldn’t it have been fun to show the cops that picture when I’m 90??
At first I thought it was just because I was lazy. I had a valid passport (albeit was a horrible picture. I’ll show it to you sometime. Kate+backpacking through Europe + thieving Italian Gypsies+4 AM after a full day swimming in the Mediterranean= UGLY BEYOND COMPARE) and changing it just seemed like too much work. Plus, I don’t like being without a valid passport. I mean, what if I have to flee the country suddenly? What if I win a trip to Paris? Ugly picture or not, that passport better be valid! But I digress . . . my point was that I was lazy. Then at the end of June my passport expired and it became inevitable. If I was gong to do this thing, I’d better do this thing right now.
So I did this thing.
As I was making all the necessary steps to become the REAL Mrs. Murphy, I had a little bit of an internal meltdown. It’s not that I don’t love my husband with all my soul. It’s not that I don’t want to take his name. It’s not that I don’t want our future children to have his name. It’s that Kathryn Anne Cotter was my name! At one point the lady at my bank said very matter-of-factly-like “So you’re no longer Kathryn Cotter. You’re now Kathryn Murphy.” Que the tears. I actually cried over that statement! It was yesterday’s low.
Matt came home last night and I threw my new drivers license at him and said “There! Are you happy now???” Like he’d begged me to do it or something. Like this was aaallll his fault. He looked at me, a little confused, and just sort of . . . backed away from the crazy woman. His logic is that I’ve been preparing for this my whole life. I, like all other little girls, would doodle my name next to the fling of the moment’s last name. I knew this was coming. AND, I’ve had four years of marriage to “prepare.”
My logic is that if someone came to Matt one day and said “Ok Matthew Murphy, now your name is Charles Applegangin” he’d be like “Uh, that’s not my name. My name is Matt Murphy.” And then the guy makes him fill out a bunch of forms, stand in line for hours (ok maybe half an hour but STILL at the Motor Vehicle Division that’s like ten years. Let me just tell you that there are a lot of weirdos out there. And having all of them in one room? Even wierder.) take a new picture and have someone yell “Charles Applegangin? Mr. Charles Applegangin?” when his new information is ready, and he just sits there stupidly because THAT’S NOT HIS NAME . . . until he realizes that is, in fact, his name, and he sheepishly makes his way to the counter to collect his new identity. And then he sits and stares at it in the car for a few minutes thinking ” . . . weird.”
I mean really, his version makes no sense at all. Four years to prepare my butt.
It’s not like my new last name sucks or anything. I’ve dated worse. Welch? Weixler (ja, German, ja)??, Batmale (pronounced bat-maul, but still)??? Leue (loo-ay. Say it with Kate. Kate Leue. Hrbbbpp)???? I mean really, Murphy is the least of my worries. Especially with my Irish ancestry and name. And red hair. It couldn’t be more appropriate. Plus my new picture? Sogreat. I mean, not to brag? But who gets a decent drivers license picture? ME! That’s who! See?
Still, it’s very strange to see my picture next to that strange girl’s name. My name. My married name. Kathryn Anne Murphy. I love it. I will embrace it. It will be mine.
Even if I don’t though, I guess it’s cool because the expiration date stayed the same. I mean, showing that picture to a cop when I’m 90 is going to get me out of MANY tickets. Am I right or am I right?? Just tell me I’m right.
- Posted in The Awesome Continues
July 31st, 2009 at 10:37 am
Don’t worry. You’ll get mail for your maiden name FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. It’ll be a nice little bit of nostalgia for you every time it happens.
July 31st, 2009 at 10:42 am
As I stare divorce in the face, I’ve made the decision not to change my name. Because like you said, it’s my NAME. So what if I didn’t keep him, that doesn’t mean I have to give up my name…..
Your picture rocks!
July 31st, 2009 at 12:26 pm
1. Just the title kills me.
2. Seriously. The title kills me.
3. I was lucky to like me married name better than my maiden name, so I didn’t deal with any of these issues. I mean, really. I was so excited to have to SPELL my name for people.
4. Matt was smart to back away from the crazy lady…
5. So glad you’re now in a position to skip the country at any given moment. I mean, you never know…
6. You’re so frickin’ hawwwwwt.
7. You are right.
8. Melanie is right too, alas.
July 31st, 2009 at 3:14 pm
i am proud of you futti!
July 31st, 2009 at 3:37 pm
i have a feeling i’m going to go through some similar emotions when the name changing happens for me.
ps. it totally looks like the same picture but you swapped out your hair color, haha. i mean really, you look amazing in both and that is a feat on it’s own. and it always cracks me up that AZ licenses don’t expire forever, too funny.
August 1st, 2009 at 5:47 am
I havent changed all my stuff yet either, but I couldnt get rid of my maiden name completely so I changed it to my middle name… So now I’m Jessica Jannnarone Walton… I know what you mean about the MY NAME thing, exactly how I feel, so I couldnt totally part with it. My middle name use to be Erin, SOooo my initials would have been JEW… um NO, so I went with JJW, whew, much better… I hope to be done changing everything by the end of the year
maybe
August 1st, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Wow … nice to put a face to a name … literally.
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:04 am
I know exactly how you feel. My last name and my first name? They just went so well together. They just fell off the tongue so well. Brandy Brock. And now… well, there are still a few things that I have to get changed. Like my passport and bank accounts and credit cards…
And your DL picture is great. That’s just ridikilus
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:58 am
Hi Kate,
I can totally imagine how it would feel to change names. I’d feel very strange about it, but that’s mainly also because that’s culturally not done here in Belgium. I had written a post on that a couple of months ago when my wedding was coming up and I was getting questions on this matter from foreign friends:
http://goofballsworld.blogspot.com/2009/04/im-goofball-and-will-remain-goofball.html
did you know it is so different in each country?
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Look at YOU, pretty girl!!! Daang!
I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to take Matt’s name or keep my own. I mean, we’re not even engaged yet, so I’ve got some time to decide. Not that I think about this already or anything…
*shame*
August 4th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Yes, Belguim is far too small to be eliminating names.
But wait, so do you hyphenate for the kids? Wouldn’t that quickly spiral out of control? “Hi, I’m Bryan Janssens-Dupont-Laurent-Mertens-Hermans-Van Damme-Dubois-De Ridder. This is my mother Amandine Janssens-Dupont-Laurent-Mertens and my father Dries Hermans-Van Damme-Dubois-De Ridder. Do you need me to spell those? Cuz I can’t.”
Well, maybe it’s not that odd. Latin American names are often longer and more complicated. Clever use of the ‘de’ can extend a name indefinitely there.
August 10th, 2009 at 2:00 am
Goofball mentioned this above sort of but I have the opposite problem. I can’t wait to change my name when I get married next spring but here in Belgium I can’t. It’s not done. It’d cost a lot of money and I’d have to get ALLL of my paperwork redone and I’m an immigrant so that makes it even harder. So basically I won’t be able to change my name unless we move back to the US. When I mention changing it here people look at me like I’m from another planet.
Oh, and I came over from Luisa’s blog
August 10th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Hi Kate,
Mrs Gunfighter didn’t change her name when we got married. I would have been alright with it no matter what, and we hyphenated soccergirl’s name when she was born.
Hot DL pic, too!
GF
August 10th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Hi. I’m sort of coming over from Luisa’s. And sort of not. I just forget you’re here sometimes. Even though I love you and you make me laugh.
When I was first married I had to make a zillion phone calls announcing myself as J… P… It helped a ton. But can you imagine trying to call yourself or answer to SISTER P, knowing your mother-in-law is THE one and only world-famous Sister P? Yeah.
But right now I am trying as hard as I can not to hate you for BOTH of those gorgeous driver’s license pictures. And Gunfighter would KNOW, being a cop and all!