July 20th, 2009 by Kateastrophe

I’m not sure if any of you have heard, but Phoenix is HOT right now. I usually brush off the 116 degree temperatures by giving the standard “but it’s a DRY heat! It feels totally different!” Cut to the past two weeks where humidity decided to rear its ugly head and I’m DYING HERE. It’s been so unbelievably hot and humid and miserable. I’ve been sweaty and miserable and can hardly stand to be touched because THE HEAT OF YOUR HAND MAKES ME BOIL AND DIE! If I had my way I’d spend most of the summer naked in front of an open freezer.

I never anticipated moving to Phoenix and, quite honestly, it is the last place on earth I would have chosen. I hate being hot. I am of the opinion that one can always bundle up to stay warm, but there are only so many layers you can take off when you are hot. The other issue you run into is that the A/C is set to frigid in all the buildings so you freeze inside and then boil outside. I literally have to wear a jacket in my office but outside it’s a balmy eight million degrees. It’s a strange sensation to walk from the polar ice caps straight into the seventh circle of hell.

Working out is a whole other problem. I hate being hot mostly because I hate sweating. I think there is nothing more disgusting than feeling hot, salty water drip down your body. Working out in Phoenix takes the normal sweat levels and turns them up about fifty notches. I work out at least once a day now and I literally sweat buckets. I go through at least two bottles of water per workout and I end up looking like a drowned rat. It’s pretty.

Also fun is the shower. I have no idea WHY but the water? Is ALWAYS HOT. I cannot find a good temperature to shower in during the summer. It’s always too hot in the shower, then the bathroom is all steamy, which is MISERABLE and then you have to blow dry the hair, which adds head to the hot, humid, sticky room. I am a big ball of sweat before I even leave the bathroom after a shower.

All in all, right now I hate Phoenix. I just keep having to tell myself “75 in December, 75 in December, 75 in December.”