June 22nd, 2009 by Kateastrophe

I used to think travelling for business was so glamorous. The fancy hotels, the decadent meals, seeing new and exciting places . . . it all sounds so amazingly fun.

I learned very quickly that fun it’s not. What it’s more like is regular work times fifty. And on top of that, you don’t think about a whole world of negatives when you originally think of going on a fancy business trip. Below is a list of my negatives just from this last week.

• Sleep Schedule Issues
  • When you live on Pacific Time and then you head to the East Coast where your trade show starts at 7 AM, that means your alarm must go off at the inhumane hour of 3 AM in your brain.
  • Waking up every ten minutes in a panic that you slept through the opening of the conference
  • You’re Mormon and therefore don’t drink coffee
  • You quit Diet Coke
  • Let’s just say you’ll never feel awake again
  • You come home and wake up on East Coast time. Hello, 5:30 AM. It’s so nice to see you after three hours of sleep. No, really!
• Travel Diet
  • While it really SOUNDS awesome to eat at fancy restaurants every night, the caloric intake of a single bowl of Lobster Mac & Cheese will ASTOUND you
  • It will also astound your thighs
  • I feel fat. Like, a lot fat
  • How can you possibly choose salad when they’re serving homemade GNOCCI??
  • I have zero self control
  • I also love pasta
• Hotel Gyms
  • Um, EW?
  • Too many people vying for the 10 lb dumbbells
  • Inept knowledge of weight lifting terms, causing you to consult your stick figure people to do your workout
  • Other people at the gym make fun of you for said stick figures
• Your husband hates to talk on the phone
  • This causes your conversations with Mr. Prince Charming to go something like this: (for an ENTIRE WEEK)
    • “Hey! How was your day?”
    • “Same”
    • “Anything exciting happen?”
    • “Nope, same old thing.”
    • “Um, eat anything good for lunch?”
    • “Nope same old thing.”
    • “WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ON THE PHONE???”
• No washer and dryer
  • Stinky suitcase clothes. Enough said.
• Hotel “Issues”
  • Say, like . . . what are you supposed to do when the plug in the bathroom just doesn’t work and you have ten minutes to blow dry your hair?? It’s not like you can go use another bathroom! You’re TOTALLY SCREWED!
  • Four dollars for a bottle of water? SERIOUSLY?
  • No cell phone coverage in your room
  • Sketchy internet. Not good when you’re paying $15 a day for it now, is it?
  • $4000 for gooey oatmeal breakfast. Even though it’s not your dime, it’s still painful
• Eating alone (which is a perfect introduction into my next thing . . . )
• Travelling Business Men
  • SERIOUSLY? You can’t tell I’m married?? This twelve millimeter band set on my hand with sparkly diamonds doesn’t give you a tiny hint??
  • If you call me a tall drink of water one more time I’m gonna throw MY tall drink of water on your stinking face
  • No I do NOT want a ride to my hotel
  • No I will NOT tell you what hotel I’m staying in
  • No I will NOT drive you to YOUR hotel
  • I think I will start using Regina Felangie as my eating-out-alone-business-name. And I shall always say I’m staying at the Ritz
• Flying
  • OH MY GOSH I hate flying more than once a week.
  • Sometimes your 45 plane flight is delayed five hours. You could have rented a car and driven to your destination in significantly less time. And in more comfortable seats
  • Sometimes you’re surrounded by “The Crazy Family.” This family, returning from a cruise, apparently has restless leg syndrome and cannot sit down EVER. During a FOUR HOUR FLIGHT.
  • Mrs. Crazy? Yeah she’s doing calf raises and yoga stretches in the aisle with her butt in your face.
  • Mr. Crazy? He’s supplying Mrs. Crazy with endless amounts of alcohol.
  • Baby Crazy? She’s chewing on the straps of your Coach bag and her Mom, Daughter Crazy, things you can’t hear her through your headphones when she says “Aw look! She likes Coach! Good thing leather is waterproof.” UM, WHAT???
  • Son Crazy is sharing a funny part of a movie with his whole family . . . over the aisle and over your head
  • Son-in-Law Crazy is unaware of his appendages and during the flight kicks you twice, elbows you once in the face and twice in the head and then literally knocks you over with his backback when he stands up to leave the flight.
  • Baby Crazy is being passed back and forth like a ping pong ball during landing. HELLO??? HOLD ON TO YOUR KID OR SHE MIGHT GO FLYING!
  • Tween Crazy will NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE JONAS BROTHERS.
  • Your noise cancelling headphones and the blanket over your head do absolutely nothing to help you ignore them.
  • Russian Man next to you isn’t wearing deodorant and insists on stretching his arms above his head then FALLING ASLEEP THAT WAY.

And this was just one week. Today I’m flying to San Francisco to do it all over again and quite frankly? I need a Xanax.

June 21st, 2009 by Kateastrophe

I spent a good part of my life wishing for my Dad to be what I wanted rather than what he was.

After a messy divorce, my Dad moved away shortly after my parents separated.  At first we were separated by most of the US when he moved to New York and we moved to Utah.  Then we were separated by a border when he moved to Mexico City.  Then finally we were separated by an ocean as his work took him to China.

Dad never missed a weekly phone call, but when you’re young and growing up in Happy Valley Mormonville, having a weekly call with your Daddy doesn’t really count when other kids dads are taking them camping, out for dates or even just coming home every night for dinner.

I spent one summer with him in Mexico, another in China and then sometimes we’d meet in the middle in Ohio for family parties and holidays, but overall, my father was largely absent from my day-to-day life.

Outwardly, I didn’t care.  It was what it was and nothing I did was going to change that.  Inwardly, I think I cared a bit more.  Dad to me was a phone call or a check to help pay for school stuff.  He was like a floating figure.  My Dad but not my Daddy.  And I wanted a Daddy.  I wanted the family picture with the mom, the dad, the four kids and maybe the dog . . . but I was never going to get that.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned a lot about my parents and what may or may not have happened.  I’ve learned more about their personalities, their triumphs and their flaws.  I was with my Mom all the time so these things weren’t so hard to learn about her.  It was my Dad that I had to really take time to understand.

I don’t profess to know everything about him, but I can tell you that I have learned a lot and that I understand him so much better.  I may not agree with all of his actions, but I can tell you that he was there for me, whenever I needed him.  He always encouraged me and really, truly believed in me.  He’s always told me that he doesn’t worry about me because he knows I will always be ok.  And I’ve realized I got that from him.

There are so many children who had completely absent fathers.  Who never met them or never hugged them or felt their love.  There are even more children who have that perfect family picture but it’s a facade.  Dad is in the picture but not part of the story behind it.  My Dad never pretended to be something he wasn’t.  He’s apologized for his absences and tried to help us understand his intentions.

I realize that even though I never had the Dad I thought I should, I have something much better.  I have a Dad who loves me no matter what . . . even if he doesn’t know how to show it. I have a Dad who supports me no matter what, in whatever way I need.  I have a Dad who tried and tried to do the best he knew how with his children.  And I can tell you that we all feel loved.  And that’s the most important thing.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there.  May you all try to do the best you know how and make sure your children know they’re loved.  I promise you, that will be enough.

June 12th, 2009 by Kateastrophe

So, Sunday begins my whirlwind of travel.  I’m basically gone for the next three weeks straight.  This is cool for several reasons:

• I get to see Boston for the first time
• I get to go to Dewey Beach with my amazing stepmother, Lisa
• Tax free outlet shopping
• I get to see my brother’s new house AND his fiance’s new bling!
• I get to go to San Francisco
• I hope to finally learn how to beat our new software (that’s seriously giving me a hernia) the beat down.
• I get to see my best college friend, Adrienne
• I also get to see my best guy friend, Dan and his gorgeous wife, Anne
• I get to shop at the H&M on Market Street
• I get to see my bestie, JoAnne, Alli and my baby birthday twin, Nora
• I finally get to see Moses Lake, Washington

This is not cool for several reasons:

• I will miss my husband terribly
• I will not be able to consistently work out
• I may gain back some of the 8% body fat I just found out I lost (but strangely gained five pounds??)
• I will be at a conference on the east coast that starts at 7AM.  That’s 4AM Arizona time.  OUI
• I will be at a conference and on my feet all day
• My stepmother will most likely be doing some complaining about my Dad and their upcoming divorce
• Beach+Kate=Sunburn.  EVERY TIME.

I’m already feeling exhausted, overworked and overwhelmed, and the next few weeks probably won’t help with that, BUT, I do love my job, my friends and my life so I don’t really have anything to complain about.

I’ll be reporting on my trips when I can and reading blogs during down-time via my Crackberry.

Now I’m going to get my adorable snoring husband off the couch and into bed.  Tomorrow is our last day together for quite some time.  Oh how I’ll miss him.

June 6th, 2009 by Kateastrophe

So busy.  Yikes.

In the last week my sister came from New Orleans, my Dad came from China, we went to Sedona twice, Matt’s parents came to town, I worked out like fifty times (and have still only lost 2 pounds!  WTF?) and also worked full time.  I’m exhausted.

Just as a point of interest, my girl Brillig has a super interesting conversation going on over at her blog about religion and when religious fiction crosses the line . . . check it out if you’re interested!  Really makes your thinkier work!

Next Sunday I’m heading to Boston for work then to Pennsylvania (in a roundabout way through Dewey Beach!) to spend some much needed time with my family there.  My brother just got engaged (EEE!) and they bought a house, so I’m excited to see that.

This week might be just as crazy so if you don’t see me, just know I’m watching via Google Reader!!