Weight Loss Plan in Numbers
May 19th, 2009 by Kateastrophe
Total number of days on diet: 17
Amount of dairy eaten: almost none
Pieces of bread ingested: 2
Pasta eaten: 1 bowl
Fruit consumed: many, many pounds
Vegetables eaten: more than I care to think about
Chicken breasts boiled and tastelessly thrown into mouth: about 10
Salmon filets grilled: 5
Boiled egg whites eaten: at least a dozen
Bottles of water poured down my throat: Two full Costco pallets
Total number of body torturing weight training days: 9
Cardio workouts: 6
Pounds lost: 2. TWO.
Excuse me while I go drown myself in my Costco water and drop a 200 lb weight on my head.
- Posted in Malnutrition and Jazzercise
May 19th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Hey, you’re not going to win any prizes on Biggest Loser, but two pounds down is two pounds down. Two is an important part of five, which is invaluable to ten. Throw down a few tens, and you have a quite-skinny. Keep it up.
Kate, put the cookie down, Kate. Kate! Kaaaaaaaate!
May 20th, 2009 at 5:00 am
I would be disappointed too BUT it’s still a loss, and any loss is good.
Keep it up.
May 20th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Kate! You know that muscle weighs more than fat, you’re working out, blah, blah, blah- take your measurements! That’s where your motivating numbers are going to come from…..
Rock on, Kate. We’re proud of you.
May 20th, 2009 at 9:34 am
My diet seems pretty effective, not sure whether you’d be interested in it though:
Develop an infected cyst in your buttocks
Make a really nice recurring abcess there, too painfull to sit or walk
Go to the hospital to have it cut out into a big open wound that takes weeks to heal (surgery under full anesthetics).
Makes sure you already stress days beforehand so that you can’t even eat anymore the days before.
After surgery you have potential nausia from anesthetics
Have nurses come by daily to desinfect and treat the open wound.
Live a standing life in your house since you can’t sit anymore.
….
It is very effective for me to lose weight. Just had to pick up my wedding dress and they must make it smaller again!
May 21st, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Yack.
May 21st, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Enough…says me. I don’t like it when you bag on my best friend. So stop it, yo?
You’re a champ. You also forgot to mention the statistic of how bad YOUR best friend is…she eats taquitos like every day. She sucks. We hate her. BUT, in her defense, she’s probably only lost 2 as well.
May 22nd, 2009 at 11:27 am
But have your measurements changed? Because THAT is the most important part. The scale is a product of the devil, I swear!
May 24th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
You can do it! Calories are calories, though; try to switch some more veggies in for fruits (there’s a reason we choose fruit over veggies
May 25th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Hahahaha! This is why I no longer try!
But good luck with that….
xo
May 27th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Ahh, see? You gotta get rid of ALL the animal products. All of it! And triple the number of veggies you’re eating.
(And don’t drown yourself. I’d miss you…)
May 27th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Almost as funny as your post is your funny friends comments. You just have to remember that your legs will probably never have five rolls down each leg like nora’s.