April 30th, 2009 by Kateastrophe

I just got a kind note from BlogHer telling me that I haven’t posted in a week. Aren’t they nice? Such a friendly little reminder that I suck at this blog thing lately.

I was looking through my archives recently and remembering fondly the days of posting almost every single day. And to top it off? I was FUNNY, and WITTY and DEEP. Boy could I be deep sometimes. Not that I assume all of you have hours on your hands, but you should peruse my archives. Good stuff in there.

I guess lately I just have bloggers block. I don’t have quirky, fun blog posts floating around in my head anymore. I don’t think of deep things to say and I’m pretty sure if you guys see one more post of bulleted items about my lame life, I’m going to lose at least one of when you poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick just to MAKE.IT.STOP.

I guess I’ve just been busy.

I’m on another healthy kick. I’ve been off the juice for over three weeks now with only one minor cheat at Disneyland. I had ONE SIP of Matt’s Diet Coke while we were eating dinner at Blue Bayou. It was a last ditch effort to make my head stop hurting. I know it was psychosomatic, but by damn, it worked! I’ve been eating MUCH smaller portions and limiting sugar (I know, I’m STUPID.). I’m not so great at a heavy workout every day, but I’ve been much more active and go on walks and all that crap. You heard me. Crap. I should really ride my bike more but . . . yeah. Did I tell you the story of my first bike ride? No? Well I should.

I got a nice mountain bike for Christmas LAST year. I rode it exactly three times in over a year. Around the block. Once. Go me.

Well, Matt bought a bike while I was in Florida in January, so about two months ago we decided to go on a Saturday morning bike ride. I knew I would have to take it a little easy since I wasn’t exactly in “bike shape” but I figured biking is easy, right? So off we went. We rode around, had a good time, went up some hills (I HATE YOU, HILLS) and then I told Matt we should head home because I was starting to “feel it.” What “it” was I have no idea, but I was feeling it. We got about six blocks from our house when I saw my best girl JoAnne heading out on a jog with her babies. We stopped and hopped off the bikes to talk to her for a minute when all of a sudden I was seeing stars. I’d never really seen stars before and I thought it was totally cool until I realized I was in the process of PASSING OUT. I said “woah, I’ve got to sit down,” and plopped myself down on the sidewalk. I told Matt to take my bike as the stars turned to blackness. Now, I didn’t actually pass out, but I came VERY close. Now, you must understand I wasn’t really out of breath, we hadn’t had a horrible hard bike ride . . . nothing. Apparently my blood just pooled in places OTHER than my brain and POOF. It was so embarrassing. JoAnne had to go back to her house and get her CAR to take me the SIX BLOCKS TO MY HOUSE. That’s right, six. I couldn’t even make it two steps. Stupid bike. We’ve been fighting ever since.

And with that, I’m going to get back to work and finish off the pint of strawberries I brought to work with me today. You heard me, PINT. They’re healthy. I’m allowed. Shhhh.

April 21st, 2009 by Kateastrophe

Long ago, in a land far, far away,* a little girl tried a sip of her Grandma’s special drink. Almost instantly, a love of Diet Coke was instilled in the little girl and she’s been a faithful worshipper ever since.**

Throughout her life, Diet Coke was there.

In high school, Diet Coke was there for her. It helped her manage (barely) to stay awake during after lunch Trigonometry and gave her the boost she needed for band camp.*** Late night play practice was always improved by a frosty fountain Diet Coke from Will’s Pit Stop or Maxi Mart. Relationships were forged over a love of the beverage of the gods. Diet Coke made an awesome high school experience even better.

In college, things got rough. Diet Coke and the little girl (now big) were fighting because all of the vocal coaches, theatre teachers and dance instructors told her their relationship was on a bad path and that Diet Coke wasn’t doing the little girl right. She struggled with her decision and finally decided it was time for she and Diet Coke to take a little break. It lasted about four days. Diet Coke was hers and she was it’s. There were no two ways about that. Teachers, you lose.

Diet Coke was, again, there for the girl throughout the ups and downs of college. It helped her through the freshman 15**** and through many, many (like a LOT) of bad break-ups,***** her senior performance project and, most importantly (duh duh duh) Richard.******

College graduation came and went and the little girl was all growed up. The girl wanted to keep her svelte figure after college so she went on a bit of a health kick and she and Diet Coke took another break. She avoided her love, Diet Coke, like the plague and was able to finally fit into a pair of size tiny pants. She met a cute boy, she dated him. He moved away. She and Richard decided to go another round. She and Richard ended that round and ALL THAT WOULD CONSOLE HER WAS A DIET COKE. Just like that, she was back on the juice.

Diet Coke was there for break-ups four, five and finally six with Richard and then the happiness set in and the girl found the love of her life in a boy named Matt. He soon joined her in her love of Diet Coke and the threesome enjoyed each other for many years. They shared their courtship, their engagement and even their marriage. Diet Coke was even there for wedding pictures. Diet Coke was a part of their lives, but the girl kept feeling like there was something a little off. Like her dependency on Diet Coke wasn’t right. Yet, together they stayed.

Then, two weeks ago, the girl found herself battling an evil sickness. She was given medication and didn’t feel much like a Diet Coke. She took this opportunity to give Diet Coke the quick boot. She was done and dramatically flung it off like dirty underwear.******* Five days passed and the girl hadn’t even said hello to Diet Coke and she was blissful when she discovered that she had no caffeine headaches or cravings. She was OVER IT . . . until she stopped taking her medications. Turns out those stupid things act just like caffeine. The second the medication was gone, Diet Coke got the girl back with a vengeance. It’s poison came in the form of the WORST HEADACHE KNOWN TO MAN which STILL HASN’T STOPPED.

The girl is miserable. And wants a fix. But is convinced she has the willpower to persevere. But she wants this headache to go away NOW.******** And she really, really REALLY wants a Diet Coke.

And now she knows how addicts feel. And she humbly joins their ranks.

Hi, my name is Kate and I’m a Diet Coke-aholic and I’ve been clean for 15 days, three hours and four minutes.*********

—————————————–

*Southern California

**The infamous Diet Dr. Pepper phase of 2000 was the only time she ever cheated on Diet Coke. Really.

***She wishes she were joking. It was only that one time, Freshman year and she wasn’t IN the band. She was flag twirler. Way better. Or maybe not.

**** Ok the Europe 25 is more like it. The girl also might be addicted to baguettes and European chocolate. That might be another post entirely.

***** Or NCMOs (Non-Committal Make-Outs)

******Well, at least break-ups one and two. See Soap Opera Sunday for more details. She should probably finish that story up someday. She knows this. Don’t get mad.

*******Too much? Dirty socks would have been better? Noted.

********Either that or miraculously lose fifteen pounds. She’d take a headache for loose fitting jeans any day.

*********YES, I’m counting the minutes. No judging.

April 2nd, 2009 by Kateastrophe

I wouldn’t say I hate country music, but I wouldn’t say I’m a huge fan either. Sometimes though, there are country songs who’s lyrics stick with you for life. John Michael Montgomery’s “Life’s a Dance” is one of those songs and lately the words are coming into my head more and more often, specifically one verse and the chorus:

The longer I live the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna recieve
There’s a time to listen, a time to talk
And you might have to crawl even after you walk
Had sure things blow up in my face
Seen the longshot, win the race
Been knocked down by the slamming door
Picked myself up and came back for moreLife’s a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don’t worry about what you don’t know
Life’s a dance you learn as you go

Right now my life is (knock on wood) unbelievably, amazingly awesome. Sure there are speed bumps and trials that come my way every day, but overall? I am one of the luckiest people alive. I have the most supportive, kind, amazing husband a girl could ever ask for. I have the most amazing family members who inspire me every day. I have a group of strong, supportive, hilarious girlfriends that add more joy and spice to my life than I deserve. I have a job I enjoy, a home I love and a fast car that makes the endless traffic jams a little more fun.

I’m sure we’ve all noticed that, at the moment, there is a lot of extra misery in the world. This is a tough time for a lot (I mean A LOT) of people in more ways than I would have expected. I don’t know if it’s the economy or just one of those times in the lives of people I know and love that things are just HARD. Things are coming out of the woodwork that I never would have expected to see. It makes me very sad but it also in turn makes me count my blessings.

Part of counting my blessings for me has always been looking back over the hard times in my life and remembering how much I learned or grew – or both – from a particular experience. I probably haven’t shared much of it here, but I have had an . . . interesting life, to say the least. There have been so many times where I really, truly thought I might not make it through my trials and that I should just give up. Times where I was so broken I just knew without out a doubt I’d never be able to put the millions of tiny pieces back together to make a real person again. I have seen some of the lowest lows and yet, every single time, and not without help and support and in so many cases, miracles, I’m able to pick myself up and not only put myself back together – but actually find that me I’ve put back together is always a better version of myself. It’s like there’s a part of me that is newly bonded together so much more tightly that I know it will never again be able to be broken.

I think that’s why the song speaks to me. “You might have to crawl even after you walk . . . Picked myself up and came back for more . . . Don’t worry about what you don’t know, life’s a dance you learn as you go.”

My most favorite quote of all time is from C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity:”

God’s work in our lives can be painful, but his ultimate goal is to transform us into something better.

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently he starts knocking that house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor here, running up towers, making courtyards.

You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

So I say to any of you who are hurting and broken and think you’re never going to be ok, please trust me when I say that you WILL put yourself back together and you WILL be better for it. It’s so cliché, but it is always darkest before the dawn. God is in the process of building His palace with you. I know it hurts right now but just wait until He’s done and you can take a step back and look at the amazing person He’s built. I promise you won’t be disappointed.