February 12th, 2009 by Kateastrophe

Hi, my name is Kate and I’m a Saleaholic and there is no hope of curing me.

Really, I blame my Mother. My Dad, to this day, calls her Secondhand Jan because she’ll stop at nothing to get a bargain. Couch in the alley? Stop and get it. Twelve dosen roses in the dumpster? Not on her watch! Scouring Savers and Goodwill for that Anne Taylor blouse she’s been dying for? Worth every excruciating trip there. She wanted a new oven but didn’t want to pay the $1200 for it at the store, so she called the outlet and was put on a list to wait for a scratch-n-dent version. Our oven is awesome and perfect but it has a huge dent in the back. Where no one will ever see it. Oh, and it cost $500. BRILLIANT! We owned lots of nice things when I was growing up and not ONE of them ever cost full price. We got free pianos (TWO of them!) free trampolines, discounted couches, carpet, flooring, paint, shutters . . . EVERYTHING!

I’m not so much a secondhand shopper (I get physically nauseous if I enter a Goodwill or Deseret Industries. I blame my Mom, again), but I am a sucker for a sale. I always have been. I HATE paying full price for anything. I simply refuse to do it unless it’s absolutely necessary. Yet, when I see a sale of more than 50%? There is no stopping me. I scour Nordstrom.com for discounted designer jeans and shoes. That 50% off button is AMAZING. I go to the Neiman Marcus Last Call sale twice a year searching to see if my size is available in my newest favorite shoe (never is. Stupid Neimans!). I head straight for the sale rack at any store I walk into and I almost always find something awesome. All this is well and good but the problem occurs when I buy two. Or three. Or things I don’t need simply because they’re ON SALE AND I MUST HAVE THEM NOW NOW NOW. I have like 40 pairs of black patent leather shoes, yet I keep buying more because OHMAGOSH KATE SPADE’S FOR $40????? I just bought three pairs of jeans because CITIZENS FOR LESS THAN $100, SERIOUSLY???? MUST.HAVE.NOW.

The Internets only add to my problems. Damn you, HauteLook.com, GiltGroup.com, RueLaLa and Ideeli.com with your 75% off of Chanel! (Don’t worry I didn’t buy, despite the amazing discount, $1000 is still WAY too much to pay for a purse.) Every day there’s a new amazing sale and stuff I simply CANNOTLIVEWITHOUT. Except I probably can . . . except now that it’s on sale I don’t WANT TO! Also, blasted ShopBop and your daily emails taunting me with the newest discounts of my favorite brands! It’s like a car wreck . . . you just can’t drive by without taking a little peek! (PS – if anyone wants invites to these sites just leave me a comment. I’d love to suck you in to my world of needless sale shopping!)

Then there’s Kelly, the hottest, nicest girl in the world who I work with. That girl has connections! 60% off of Coach, Valentino and Gucci. 70% off of designer denim. 30% off of high-end boutiques. GAH!!! It’s a good think a lot of those clothes don’t fit my gadunk-a-dunk thighs. I’d be in BIG trouble. I obviously already am, but she makes it worse. Then there’s Marshalls. Have I mentioned that I work a block from only the GREATEST MARSHALLS EVER? It’s got rows and rows of shoes. IN BOXES. That are organized. And BCBG, 7 for All Mankind, True Religion and on and on and on. Oh and furniture too. And hair product! They have amazing stuff for pennies on the dollar. It’s unbelievable. Thank you, North Scottsdale clientele. You complete me.

Luckily, despite buying things I probably don’t need, I am able to keep it somewhat in check. I never have a balance on my credit card and I still manage to save money every month but boy is it hard sometimes. This whole “everything on sale for 50-70% off” economy is making me into quite the brand whore. I think this is their plan. Get me hooked on their brand of crack by giving it away and then, when I’m least expecting it, BAM. I’m a full blown addict stealing money and selling all our furniture to support my denim habit.