Cloudy Days
November 30th, 2008 by Kateastrophe
It’s hard when family trauma gets in the way of the Holidays.
Thanksgiving was seriously great, but there was a cloud hanging over the day because it appears that my Dad and his wife of 13 years, the woman who is not my Mother but who I love and call Mom, are getting divorced.
I knew it was happening . . . it’s not like they broke the news ON Thanksgiving, but I don’t think it really hit me until that day when I got a call from Lisa/Mom and I realized my Dad wasn’t there. He was in Ohio along with my sister. Lisa/Mom was in Pennsylvania with my two brothers. My Mom was in Utah with her husband and I was here with my husband and his family. We were already all over the place with lots of splits and families to visit and now we’re adding yet another.
I know I’ve shared how hard my parent’s divorce was, but, as horrible as it sounds, I think this one might be worse. We’re only a few weeks into it, and they’re still talking about trying to work it out, but it’s already getting ugly. Us kids are already feeling stuck in the middle.
Quite frankly, it sucks.
My brother is calling us the 0-fers. Dad and Mom didn’t make it. Our amazing Step-father Mike passed away after only five years with us, my Mom’s marriage is currently OK but has been rocky at best, and now the relationship we thought was the most stable, is crumbling.
Now, I’m not saying my belief in happy marriages is dead, because it’s FAR from that, but it’s just been hard to watch my parents struggle so much, and really hard to watch my siblings try to make sense out of it all. They don’t really bounce back quite as easily as I do and I know this is hard for them.
I feel like I’m living that movie Four Christmases . . . except with me it’s up to like twelve or something.
Bah.
- Posted in Some People Suck, Fam-Damily
November 30th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
**hugs**
my grandparents had similar marital distress. just from what i hear from my parents, i’m glad not to have had to go through that. i’m so sorry. there’s nothing else to say - what could be worse than having your family torn apart?
November 30th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Sorry to hear that…
Maybe you should go to the movie. Kendall and I did; it was pretty funny.
November 30th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
I am so sorry. That is so, so hard.
December 1st, 2008 at 7:03 am
Oh, wow, girl. That sucks, and I’m so sorry. I haven’t actually lived through a divorce, so I can’t understand how you’re feeling, but I know it has to be horrible. *hugs*
December 1st, 2008 at 8:07 am
I’m still so sorry, Kate. When you told me I was totally shocked - I know your family is having a hard time. I hope it all works out, no matter what the end result may be. Hang in there! I love you!
December 1st, 2008 at 8:20 am
Klate, I’m so sorry. And personally I can definitely relate, not that that matters. I’ll just say my sophomore year at BYU my dad my step-mom divorced after 15 years. yeah, it sucks. HUGS!!! I’m sorry but please know that I think you are amazingly resilient.
December 1st, 2008 at 10:58 am
I also come from a long line of failed/highly-troubled marriages. I was just telling Melanie that if I manage to not divorce her or abuse her verbally or physically, then I’ll be the first male in my line on either side of the family to do so in all the generations that I know anything about (which is quite a few).
She says that that is not setting a high bar. But you know what: baby steps. There’s something to be said for having a committed, non-abusive relationship. Notscrewedupedness is a good foundation for future improvements.
December 1st, 2008 at 11:00 am
So take heart at your own current success, and gird your loins for what troubles may come. I’ve heard many of the stories of your kin: you will almost certainly do better–and that is a very good thing.
December 1st, 2008 at 5:44 pm
ugh that’s never a fun situation. hope you’re okay and you enjoyed your holidays anyways. we’ll all be here for you
December 1st, 2008 at 6:42 pm
TELL ME ABOUT IT!! love the o-fer thing though… gonna have to start using that one.
December 1st, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I’m sorry, hon. ~hugs~
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I am so sorry to read this. I wish you and your family didn’t have to go through it again.
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
It just plain SUCKS. I know how painful this one has been for you. I wish I could smack someone on your behalf. Yup– even though your dad scares the living daylights out of me, I’d totally smack him. That’s how much I love you.
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Oh man, I’m really sorry
It’s always sad to hear about marriages ending, and doubly sad when you know and love both people involved. I really hope they can work things out!