July 11th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

I will never forget my pre-Kindergarten eye exam when they pulled my Mom aside and not so quietly whispered “your daughter desperately needs glasses.” And from about a week later on, I’ve had glasses.My first several pairs were HOTTT. Pink plastic old lady glasses. I wish I could find halway decent pictures. They were bad, bad, bad. My Mom thought they were cute. I just knew they were pink. Pink always equals cute, right? Since then I’ve tried my share of glasses, contacts, nothing at all (for two years. Seriously, I’m surprised no one died. I’m practically blind in my left eye). I’ve had a love hate relationship with my glasses. I do like the way I look in glasses, but I prefer the way I look without them. Contacts never worked all the way. I was either getting corneal abrasions (YOUCH!) or messing with weighted contacts that blurred every time I blinked. About five years ago I gave up on contacts all together and succumbed to a life of cute glasses and blind stumbling in the middle of the night. I gave up on cute sunglasses. I gave up on every being able to see clearly while scuba diving or swimming. I finally decided to embrace and love the glasses.

Then, six months ago, the news came that the laser technology to correct my wretched left eye had finally been approved. I could have laser vision surgery and NEVER WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS AGAIN. I decided to give it six months for the technology to be perfected (and to get on my company’s flexible spending account) and TODAY IS THE DAY!

At 3:20 I will be all valiumed up, watching the cool laser fix my retarded eyeballs.

Within a few weeks, I will have at least 20/15 vision, if not 20/10. I will be able to see myself in the mirror in the morning. I will be able to wear sunglasses all the time! I will be able to SEE!!!!

Goodbye, glasses. I would say I’ll miss you, but honestly, I won’t.