April 12th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Hi peeps!! I am so sorry that this is a week late! I really suck. I haven’t heard from Brillig today so we can connect on who is hosting this week, so I’m just going to pretend I am and post this and we’ll see how it plays out. I STILL can’t get my Mr. Linky working, so if you are playing along leave a comment and I’ll attempt to hyperlink to you tomorrow. IF you were supposed to host, leave me a comment or send me an email and I promise I’ll give you a shout-out! I you want to host sometime, by all means we’d love it. Again, just leave me a comment or send me and email and we’ll getcha all hooked up!

Don’t know what the heck Soap Opera Sunday is? Well, problem solved, you can find the rules here.

This saga is TOTALLY out of control as far as length goes, so if you need to catch up, you can check out my Soap Opera Sunday category there in my sidebar and have a hey-day. Hope you have about fifteen hours.

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I spent every possible moment of the next few weeks with Matt. He invited me on a family reunion trip to a small town in Idaho where I met every single member of his extended family. They all thought we should get married and kept asking me if Matt had asked me to move to San Francisco with him yet. The answer was always no.

I honestly kept waiting for him to ask. We had SUCH an amazing time together and had never really even had a falling out of any kind. My family loved him, his family loved me. Who needed kissing right?

Well the day finally came and Matt moved away from me. We talked a few times after he moved, talking about me flying out to see him a few months later. Then one day, I called him and my phone call was never returned. He just . . . disappeared. I had no idea what had happened or why until about a year later when I found out HE HAD MARRIED PSYCHO GIRL. You know, the one that was eight feet taller than him and used to beat him up. I found out from our mutual friend Kyle. When he told me I admitted how shocked I was and also mentioned that after we had dated for so long, it was weird that he just disappeared. Kyle’s response to me was like a punch in the gut, even that much time later. “Oh come on Kate. You guys never dated. You were just friends and everyone knew it. Matt never talked about you as his girlfriend and you never were. I think for him [psycho girl’s name here] was always the one.”

Ummmm, ok. I hear they are still happily married and have a beautiful baby girl. More power to ‘em, right? I’ll always think back fondly on Matt. Fondly with a hint (or giant dose) of confusion.

Back to when Matt stopped calling . . . I had to pick up the pieces of my heart and move on, once again. I was SO hesitant to run back to Richard, so instead of going back to him all the way, I decided to mix it up and hang out with Richard and about ten other guys that summer. I did that, but somehow still, it was always Richard pulling me toward him like a magnet. If I had the option of one guy or Richard, it was always, always Richard. His behavior, naturally, hadn’t changed. I stepped back into the pool slowly and hesitantly, but I had every intention of going swimming. Somewhere inside, I just hoped he’d realize I was the best he would ever have.

There was so much random drama that summer. I found out Richard was abusing Oxycontin and that THE EX, who’s name we shall no longer speak, we’ll just call her THE EX, also found out and took it upon herself to tell his parents. Who he still lived with. She was apparently dating someone else but still felt it her job to be in charge of Richard’s well being. This naturally pissed me off. Maybe I was mad that I wasn’t the one to intervene on his behalf and have his parents help him out . . . maybe I was just mad that the girl who I unreasonably hated with all my soul was still a part of his life. Who knows. I tried to be different than her, and go about “helping him quit” in the kinder, gentler, idiot fashion. I was the supportive one and THE EX could be the b****, right?!

As the summer wore on, I got rid of all the guys I was dating except Richard and we were back in the same stupid cycle. I would wait and wait and wait to hang out with him and then every once in a while, he would call and we’d make plans - plans that involved myself driving to his house, 45 minutes away and then spending the evening sitting with him on his couch while he watched Sports Center. For some reason I seemed to think that every moment spent with him was the best moment of my life. Of course, I was still miserable.

Toward the very end of that summer a girlfriend of mine set me up with her fiance’s roommate. His name was Tyler. He was, quite possibly, the kindest, sweetest man I’d ever met in my life. We went on several dates and started seeing each other every day . . . that is, every day I wasn’t with Richard. He was literally Richard’s polar opposite. Extremely tall, light coloring, soft spoken, kind, successful . . . you name a good quality (and naturally any quality opposite of Richard) and this guy had it. We had a ton of fun together, but there was a problem. I wasn’t that attracted to him. The first time we kissed was almost magical, but then after that, it just wasn’t . . . right. I wanted SO BADLY to like this guy who treated me well, actually WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH ME and had like, a life goal and aspirations and made real money and stuff. Every moment spent with him my brain was in a fist fight with my heart in an attempt to get my heart on board. My brain was losing badly.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was doing to Tyler exactly what Richard had always done to me. Always looking for something else. I knew how he felt about me but I played stupid and convinced myself we weren’t exclusive and kept dating Richard. Tyler and I would be out on a date and I’d get a call from Richard. I’d run to the bathroom to take it and we’d make plans for me to get home ASAP so we could meet up. Tyler would drop me off at home and Richard would be parked down the street waiting to see us pull up and Tyler pull away. Of course when I was out with someone else he’d make an effort to see me.

Then, my plate became even more full when a new hot guy started working for the company I had just left. The secretary set us up thinking we’d be perfect for each other. This guy was very cute, very funny and VERY recently divorced. We went out (and made out a few times). He was by no means perfect for me, but of course, I was more attracted to him than I was Tyler. BECAUSE MY BRAIN HAD SOMEHOW WORKED ITSELF OUT OF MY HEAD AND PLANTED ITSELF FIRMLY IN MY BUTT.

And then there were three.

At that point my girlfriend had enough of the way I was treating Tyler and told him I was going out on dates with other people. For the record, I don’t blame her. He was a great guy. Way too great for the person I was back then. Did I like being tattled on? Nope. Did I deserve it? Yep.

I got a call one very rainy, stormy night and Tyler’s voice was on the other line, very hurt and somewhat angry. “I heard that you were out on a date last night. Are you dating other people?” I paused for a long time and finally said “Yes, of course I am. We’ve only been dating for a few weeks and I had no idea you considered us exclusive.” Silence. “I’m so sorry Tyler. I didn’t realize it was something I needed to communicate to you and I’m so so sorry you had to find out from other people. I would like to continue seeing you, but I understand if you don’t want to see me.” Silence, then finally “I’ll think about it and call you later.” Tyler never called me again. I hear he’s very happily married and naturally, living near a beach making a bazillion dollars.

And then there were two.

The hot divorced guy I was making out with decided it was too soon after his divorce to date and ended “things” with me.

And then there was one. Always one. Always Richard.