March 28th, 2008 by Kateastrophe

Wow holy crap was I in a bad mood yesterday. I didn’t even realize I was until all of a sudden I just . . . was.

I’ve done a lot of analysis of my “Crazy” (trust me there’s a lot to analyze) but I’ve rarely done analysis of my “Beotch.” And woah, maybe I should.

Let’s see . . I’m not PMSing, I didn’t have a bad day at work, it was beautiful and 85 degrees on the drive home. Maybe it was Costco? I had to go after work because we were completely out of food. What might have started it was watching this old lady hover around the beef and bean burrito sample table. As soon as the sample lady would set three or four out, she’d swoop in and take all three or four, run off around the corner, eat them, and then head back for more. EVEN THOUGH OTHER PEOPLE WERE WAITING. Other people that included a little boy! I totally wanted to punch her in the throat. Well, not really anything that violent, but you get my point. I hate the sample tables at Costco. They cause more traffic jams and annoyance on my part than almost anything else. I absolutely refuse to take part in the samples. It’s a rule I’ve set up. If I’m going to be annoyed by the sample hoverers, I’m not ever going to be one of them. Ok woah holy tangent. What I was getting at is that I think my bad mood started at Costco. Memo to me, don’t go right after work.

I got home and was unpacking the groceries and I was just pissy! Matt was being great and helping me but all of a sudden I was annoyed. He wanted to rearrange the freezer to make room for the frozen stuff. I just wanted to put the crap away and be done with it. Then my “B” got even more fun. We had a quick dinner and Matt settled in to watch the NCAA Tournament. I got annoyed. I got up, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and got more and more annoyed that he wasn’t helping me. I should mention that he helps ALL THE TIME. He almost always does the dishes and cleans up and all that stuff, so why on EARTH I think I have ANY right to be annoyed when he takes a break for one night is beYOND me. I didn’t even make dinner. I brought home one of those cooked chickens! It’s not like I had done any hard work and was exhausted from all the cooking!

After I cleaned I messed around on the computer for a while and then got ready to head to the gym. Matt was still laying on the couch. I was more annoyed. And I wanted PUDDING (which I had forgotten to get at Costco. Dammit). Gym first. I worked my can off at the gym and then headed to Old Navy (near where I was going to get PUDDING) to see if I could find any workout clothes. They used to have these great baggy-ish yoga pants and I wanted more. Naturally, they didn’t have them. Just super tight ugly ones. Now I was pissed at Old Navy, so I headed to TJ Maxx. It was the end of the day for them and the place was a DISASTER and so I got pissed at them and left with just a bra. No pants. Now for PUDDING.

Then I did the dumbest thing I’ve done in a long time. I went to Wal-Mart. When I was in a bad mood. Dude, Even at nine-thirty at night that place is a frickin’ zoo! I hate it! But remember the PUDDING? Yeah I needed sugar free pudding. Don’t even worry I bought like eight cases of it. Did you know they have chocolate mint?? Holy crap did THAT get me all excited. But it was still Wal-mart. And there were still little kids running around in diapers screaming and people leaving their carts in the middle of the aisles while they wandered up and down, making it virtually impossible for anyone to get anywhere. I waited patiently in the freezer section trying to get at some peas and this lady just STOOD THERE. Looking up and down the aisle, her cart right in front of the peas. I waited for like five minutes and finally decided PEAS AREN’T WORTH THE AGITATION and I left to go find PUDDING.

I finally got out of Wal-mart alive and headed home to eat PUDDING. I walked in the door and Matt came downstairs to help me put away the second set of groceries for the day. (Side note – has anyone else noticed it’s virtually impossible to go to Target or Walmart without spending at least $40? Seriously!!) He looked at all the PUDDING then looked at me and said “Woah there pudding monster. Is this stuff good for you? Can you have it on your diet?”

Que the “B” turning into “The Crazy” and attacking my husband’s jugular. I. WAS. PISSED. For reals this time.

I started yelling and crying about how he’s not allowed to tell me what I can or can’t eat and how I’m working my a** off on this diet and he eats like crap and it’s sugar free low calorie pudding and it IS on the diet and I deserve it because I was at the gym sweating my guts and out and where was he oh yeah sitting on the couch and, and, and . . . yeah it was bad. Really bad. I finished my yell fest, blew my runny nose and wiped my eyes, slammed his FAT FILLED RANCH DRESSING down in front of him, told him to put it away, grabbed my PUDDING and a spoon and huffed over to the couch where I proceeded to watch HGTV for the next hour. Then I went to bed. Matt hid upstairs until I was pretty much out. Smart man.

Today, the “B” is gone. I’m in a much better mood AND my skinny jeans, though still sort of tight, are fitting better than they have for a long time, so I decided to wear them. Despite the “B” being gone . . . I have this eerie feeling she might be back sooner than I think. Now I just have to think of a plan to beat her up before she turns into “The Crazy.”