Worst. Irish Person. EVER.
March 17th, 2008 by Kateastrophe
Hi, hello, hi. I’m like . . . 3/4 Irish and today is like . . . MY HERITAGE DAY. And, as I stated there in the title, I’m the worst Irish person ever.
I’m wearing green, I’ve got the reddish hair and green eyes to go with it, but I don’t really CELEBRATE on St. Patrick’s Day. I call my brother (Patrick) and ask him “Who’s your Paddy?” My shirt says “Everyone Loves an Irish Girl” (and should then have the disclaimer “but hates their temper”) and all that stuff. I’m just not very good at being Irish, what with the whole not drinking beer or liking corned beef and cabbage thing.
Now, I’ve had my run-ins with beer. Just a few of them. I may wear the stuff, but I just don’t drink it. In fact, I would rather drink pee than drink beer. I’m so not kidding. I think it smells like rear and, from the few random drops that have touched my lips thanks to people who can’t stop spilling beer on me, it takes like rear too.
So, as you can see, I don’t do my Irish heritage justice . . . the only Irish food I really like is potatoes. I think the amount of love I have for potatoes might make up for the other stuff, but I doubt the average Irishman would agree with me.
So, on the day of Irish drunkenness, I encourage all of you who aren’t Irish to celebrate my Irish heritage in my place. Just because I don’t drink beer doesn’t mean you can’t. That is, if you like the taste of rear. ENJOY!
- Posted in Whaaaa?, The Awesome Continues
March 17th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
[…] Kateastrophe wrote a fantastic post today on “Worst. Irish Person. EVER.”Here’s ONLY a quick extractNow, I’ve had my run-ins with beer. Just a few of them. I may wear the stuff, but I just don’t drink it. In fact, I would rather drink pee than drink beer. I’m so not kidding. I think it smells like rear and, from the few random drops … […]
March 17th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Oh yeah, I am definitely not a beer drinker, so hopefully someone else out there in internet land will be able to help out the average! Happy St. Patrick’s Day nonetheless!
March 18th, 2008 at 2:20 am
I luv ya, but. . . not enough to drink a beverage on your behalf that looks like #1 and tastes like #2!
Though I’m sure there are enough Irish and non-Irish people out there making sure the beer drinking quota is being met and exceeded tonight!
March 18th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Haha, you said rear. It made me giggle.
March 18th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I’m laughing because I was an even worse Irish person than you! Not only didn’t I wear green, but I wore pink! Then I didn’t even have beer, I served ravioli for supper and I went to symphony rehearsal where we played Welsh music. And I even like beer! Real, Irish beer like Harps. Not that crap they dye green.
So, yeah… I’m commiserating.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:32 am
“It tastes like rear too”– um, darling, do you have a lot of experience with rear-tasting for comparison’s sake?
Love you and all your Irishness…
March 21st, 2008 at 7:38 am
funny
March 21st, 2008 at 7:38 am
hey, I am a Belgian who doesn’t like chocolate. That’s weird too.