October 31st, 2006 by Kateastrophe

OK, HOW FREAKING CUTE IS THIS???

This is Isaac, my best friend Anne’s youngest son. I just had to post about how cute he is in his Yoda costume!

You’ll all be pleased to know that I won a cube decorating contest at work today. I just put up spiderwebs and lights and played spooky Halloween sounds, but hey, $25 on an American Express card is totally worth it!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!! Hope you have a spooky night!

October 30th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

We played construction this weekend . . . it was . . . um. . . er . . . fun???

I’m not posting any pictures yet because I want to be completely done with the projects so I can give you a complete beginning to ending idea of the torture I put myself through for the past month or so, but I promise that I will!

The one interesting/stupid thing I did is worth posting about though. A true Kateastrophe . . .

I got a screw stuck in the garbage disposal.

Not rolling around in there.

Completely. Stuck. Wedged. Not. Coming. Out. EVER.

As if we didn’t have enough broken crap in this house. Now we’ll probably need a completely new garbage disposal. Cross your fingers and say a little prayer that the home warranty we bought covers . . . well, Kateastrophes.

How, Kate, did you get a screw STUCK in said garbage disposal?

WELL, I’ll tell you.

I took the final five cabinets off of their hinges today. These were the cabinets I was saving for last because they are the NASTIEST. The hinges are covered in twenty years worth of dropped food and whatever the hell else might have snuck it’s way in there. I haven’t cleaned them yet because every time I thought about it I almost threw up. But, in order to finish the cabinets I obviously had to remove the hinges. So the were all immediately dunked into a concoction of vinegar and water (don’t ask my why those two ingredients . . . I just thought it might clean the sludge off.) and set aside to soak for . . . well, until I thought they were good and ready.

Five hours later I’m pouring out the vinegar mixture to get at the hinges with a toothbrush. Cut to stupid Kate forgetting she was also soaking the SCREWS. Slow motion, cut to THREE screws falling into the disposal. Cut to Kate’s braing counting the clinks as the screws hit the bottom. One clink . . . two clink. “Well (insert vulgar, naughty word here)” says I and then immediately cut to Kate sticking her hand in the disposal to fish out the two screws she heard drop. (NO it was not RUNNING. Give me at least a little credit.)

So anyway, enough with this third/first person mess I created in that paragraph up there. On with the story . . .

Needless to say I got two screws out. I did feel around to see if by any chance there was a third one. (picture me sticking my hand into the very old, probably very nasty (but I don’t want to think of the nastiness at that particular moment) garbage disposal to see if there’s one more screw. Nope don’t feel anything.) So what do I do next? Oh don’t you worry. I TURN THE DAMN THING ON TO MAKE SURE. Do I find a flashlight to check and see? Nope. Do I ask Matt to help me and check it out and give me a second opinion? Nope. I TURN IT ON.

Imagine the sound of crushing metal.

And. Then. The. Screw. Was. Completely. Jammed.

Matt got a flashlight and explained it to me like this: “Well, you somehow managed to get the teeth that go around in there to get stuck on the long thin screw part and the head is visible. I’ve used pliers, a screw driver and a hammer, tried to move the teeth manually . . . it’s not going anywhere. We need to call a plumber.”

Well at least we needed to call one anyway to get our master bathroom shower refitted for the new faucet we bought this weekend.

Before I screw up again, can I ask for volunteers to help me with the following tasks?

Put up new ceiling fan in family room

Put up new ceiling fan in kitchen

Put up new ceiling fan in master bedroom.

Install new kitchen faucet (and just throw in a garbage disposal while you’re at it, k?)

Install new shower pan and walls, along with new drain, faucet . . . ah hell, any volunteers to remodel our entire master bathroom from floor to ceiling?

Oh new houuuuseee! Are you done yet? Your new owners are badly in need of you!

Oh wait. I remember now. You’re at least a month behind and the utilities aren’t even in.

How long do you think I can go without accidentally turning on the jammed garbage disposal?

I’m taking bets. All proceeds go to our remodeling fund. I’m also taking donations.

Thank you for your consideration.

October 27th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

Another fun game!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Christian Electra (OH MY GOSH HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom’s side, your favorite candy)
Ok normally it would be Shirley Musketeer, but let’s be creative and use my Grandpa’s name . . . and my second favorite candy . . .
James Godiva . . . ooh that’s fun! Even for a girl.

3. YOUR “FLY GIRL/GUY” NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)
K-Ann . . .eh, not so great. Now if we used my maiden name I’m K-Cot HEHEHE, or I could even be K-Murph if I really wanted . . . Ok in reality it all sounds WAY to much like K-Fed so I’m going to pretend I don’t HAVE a Fly Girl name.

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Conure (that’s pretty lame)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Anne Golden . . .yaaaawwwnnn

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom’s maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.)

MurKaLyPro (AHAHAHAHAHAH)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (your favorite color, favorite drink)
Green Coke? Maybe I should go for Purple, my second favorite color and my favorite non-alcoholic beverage that COULD have alcohol? So . . .
Purple Daiquiri .. . little better, but it doesn’t sound very bad-a does it?
I could stretch a little further and go for the drink Dan Clarke always orders me whenever we’re at dinner together .. . a shirley temple
Green Temple . . . Green Shirley? No none of this is working.

October 27th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

I found this fun game when I was bored today. I’m sitting here cracking up at how hilarious it is.

What you do is go to Google and type in “(your name) needs” and see what comes up in the headings. It’s HILARIOUS.

Here is, according to the almighty Google, what Kate needs.

1. Kate needs a shave
HOW DID THEY KNOW? Google must really be all knowing if they know I haven’t shaved my legs in four days.

2. Kate needs the Dramaturge at Home.
uhhhh, no idea what that means. But apparently I need it . . . so dramaturging at home I go.

3. Kate needs your help
Oh how true. All of you, I solicit your help. We all know I need it and I can’t live without it. You can decide what I need your help WITH. All I know is that I need it.

4. Kate needs a hand
well, I’m sure I do. I’ve been trying to finish my cabinets, and if any of you want to lend me a hand with that I will not protest one bit. I have a list of things I need a hand with. First one to my house gets delicious homemade macaroni and cheese! It’s totally worth it I swear! Just ask Rhonda!

5. Kate needs a twinkie
YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Althought I don’t really NEED a twinkie . . . but I WANT a twinkie. Maybe since Google told me I need a twinkie that will justify to my trainer tonight that I had to have one?

6. Kate needs a trust angel
uhhhhhh, sure!? Can Google tell me what a trust angel is, exactly? I’ll ask Google and get back to you.

7. Kate needs to ride
I could go in several directions with this one . . . I’ll just stop right now.

8. Kate needs editor emulation for Emacs and/or vi
I don’t even know what to say. I probably do need . . . whatever it is.

9. Kate needs to go away!
RUDE. I think Google just lost my business. Bastards.

10. Kate needs standard right click menus
Don’t we all need standard right click menus? Unless you use a mac. Then you’re screwed when it comes to right clicking!

11. Kate needs special indentors for php & perl
I THINK I have an idea of what php & perl are . . . i guess when I double check that I’ll determine whether or not I really need special indentors . . . whatever those are.

12. Kate needs a cat and twenty mindless Monday games
Um, no I don’t actually need a cat .. . but I would love twenty mindless Monday games since I don’t so much like Mondays!

13. Kate needs a date
Google is so fired. Unless they mean a date with my husband . . . which I do need.

14. Kate needs a priest
According to my father and his catholic family, this might be true. They’re probably searching for me so I can do my first communion finally.

15. Kate needs doggy day care
Well that’s just rude!

16. Kate needs to focus on work and not the internet tomorrow and actually get some work done so she still has a job and won’t need #17- a new job.

October 26th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

You’ll all be disappointed to know that Matt Leinart didn’t show his face at Sapporo last night.

Oh well, maybe next time, right?!?

Agatha, Suzanne (my executive admin replacement) and I did, however, have a blast, just chatting and gossiping and laughing.

If there’s a Leinart sighting, I’ll be sure to let you all know.

October 25th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

Ok, I realize I’ve posted like FIFTY times in the past two days . . . but I had to do something really quickly.

I’ve posted about my love for the following men:

Matt Leinart, Christian Bale and Brandon Routh.

I have neglected to post about my love for the best guy of all.

My husband. I’m not going to go all mushy yucky on you, oh no, not the sarcastic B that I am.

I’m just going to say that I got really lucky when I met this man and even more lucky when he loved me back.

Meeeeoow!

I mean I got REALLY lucky. I can’t think of any other guy who would put up with me making him dress like THIS for Halloween

Plus, can you imagine what I’ve been like at home for the past week or so with all my self-pitying trauma? It’s been like the “kick the dog” syndrome at our house, but I’d like to point out that we don’t HAVE a dog. I have a Matt. And he is pretty darn sweet when I’m being rotten.

SO despite my love for Superman, Batman and that hot quarterback, I love Matt more.

October 25th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

My posts over the past few days have had an aura of doom about them, and for that I apologize. I have never really been a negative, depressing type of person and somehow I allowed myself to wallow for the past for days and it’s time to get up and see the light, people!

Have I mentioned that Wednesday Boot Camp makes me hyper? On Wednesday’s we do calisthenics and for some reason I am like a freak for the rest of the day, bouncing around, spazzing out. I mean, this stuff kicks my butt. They’re some of the hardest exercises I’ve ever done, but somehow, as soon as I get out of the shower after a Wednesday workout, I turn into the poster child for ADHD.

This gets interesting as I try to work. My boss comes to say hi and I just start running my mouth and laughing at myself. And I read a sentence like “pick your horse and experiment” as “pick your nose and experiment” and I read it again and again trying to make sense of why my boss would tell me to pick my nose and work, all the while snorting and spewing Diet Coke all over my keyboard. (**Just a funny side note, my boss DID in fact write me an email that had the sentence “pick your horse and experiment.” That alone would have caused the snorting and Coke spewing but add insult to injury and misread it as “pick your nose” and it just gets funnier and funnier. Especially when you’re stuck in SPAZ MODE.)

My other random story for the day involves McDonald’s. The place I swore I’d never eat at again after seeing “Super Size Me.” But one day a few months ago I was STARVING for breakfast and I was at Dan and Agatha’s house and the only fast, easy food near them is McDonald’s, so I tried a McGriddle sandwich. Small bit of advice. Don’t try it. It’s the best little breakfast sandwich in the whole world, and once you eat it, you’ll NEVER go back. This morning, I was fifteen minutes late to work (not like I can ever really be late, but I try really really hard to get here by 8:30 and I get mad at myself if it’s any later than 8:40 and this morning it was 8:45 when I was getting off the freeway - stupid traffic.) and I was STARVING so I decided I’d better go get a McGriddle. FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER I am still sitting in the stupid drive-through line, stuck between the window where you pay and the window where you actually get your food. Just sitting there. I’m not sure WHAT was going on inside. The girl taking the money kept sticking her head out the window to look and see if the car at the pick-up had moved . . . like she couldn’t ASK the people inside what was going on?!?!? It was a debacle for sure. So I rolled into work at about 9:05, thanks to my stupid McGriddle fascination. The Work-out Gods were mad at me . . . and I probably deserve their wrath.

In other fun news, I am going out to dinner with Agatha tonight. We’re going to Sapporo, the “hip and happening” Japanese restaurant in Scottsdale. It’s the only place we’ve ever gone together. I’m not sure if it’s because she loves it that much or because it’s “the place to see and be seen” according to high Scottsdale society. Needless to say I put on my sassiest fat clothes and will try hard to fit in with the barbie doll that is Agatha and the rest of the Scottsdale princesses. It’s not going to be easy! Then I’ll really give myself away when I don’t order a cosmopolitan or Appletini! I’m so “out” aren’t I? Last time we were there I saw Danika Patrick. Today I’m crossing my fingers and PRAYING that Matt Leinart is there, and that he thinks girls with big butts are hot. HAHAHAHAHA. *Disclaimer: My husband is aware of my Matt Leinart obsession, and he knows that if in fact, a miracle ever occurs and Matt Leinart wants me, I’m probably not going to be able to resist his lusciousness. I mean I fit the profile right? His last girlfriend was Paris Hilton . . . and the girl before that WAS in fact LDS and a volleyball player. I’m totally his type — I’m LDS and Paris Hilton and I have the same yacht sized feet. When we meet, he will immediately fall for me. That’s what I tell myself every time I see his beautiful face on TV.

October 25th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

er . . . wedding.Yeah, Pete is my favorite co-worker and he recently got married at the swanky Phoenecian. The ceremony was awesome, the food was delicious and the party was AWESOME. Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure:
**these were taken by Agahta . . . and Matt was there, he just wasn’t in any pictures!

Agatha and I dancing

Agatha and Carrie, obviously the bride

The proud Groom (apologies to any virgin eyes)

My friend Stacey, co-worker Chris (liiiiitle punch drunk) and Agatha

Fun had by all!

I took home one of the floral centerpieces and it pretty much took over my kitchen counter!

October 24th, 2006 by Kateastrophe

So I mentioned my stomach ailment.

What I didn’t mention was the stress headaches and cramps.

So here’s the dilemma:

Do I take a painkiller to ease the cramps and headache, thus causing the stomach ailment to rear it’s ugly head?

OR

Do I not take any painkillers and just sit here numbly staring into the blackness rubbing my neck hoping for some relief?

OR

I honestly can’t decide which is worse. So I sit here staring at the five advil I grabbed out of the first aid kit. And that’s all I’m doing with it. Staring. Wishing.

And here’s what’s totally sad . . . I’m blogging about this! I guess it’s sort of like virtually reaching out to all my friends and whining! And that makes me sound really mature!

On to other matters - I went shopping today at lunch because I figured I needed shoe therapy or SOMETHING right? Apparently not. I just wandered through the store, looking at Christmas Decorations but unwilling to commit, trying on shoes but unwilling to commit. This is so not like me. I passed on shoes AND Christmas decorations? Shirley would be disappointed (ps- Shirley is my most awesome stylin’ Grandma who gave me my love of shoes and all things Christmas)

This week is turning me into a Grinch!! A Grinch who can’t find SHOES!

October 23rd, 2006 by Kateastrophe

My brother Sean used to say that all the time and we’d all laugh.

This week I am saying it and honestly, not so funny when you’re the one feeling compelled to say it.

After finally fighting off my plague, I am now struck with my other common ailment, the stomach monster called “Gastritis” (and it is not as that phrase implies, just FYI) and I am now only allowing myself to eat white bread and bananas in hopes of preventing my entire midsection from cramping up every time I eat anything.

That was yesterday.

Then today happened. Stupid, stupid today.

My boss told me today that I am being too much of a victim. Maybe that is true and maybe it’s not, but it was sort of like a slap in the face to hear that. Let me explain why . . .

My 90 day review for my new position as Marketing Specialist is due this week. I brought this up last week to make sure everyone knew I was expecting it this week. And now, somehow, it’s not happening because there is a “process” and in the “real business world” it doesn’t happen right when us measly employees expect it.

In my mind I’m thinking “wow is it really to much to ask that after two years in this company, busting my ass and doing humiliating tasks, after I FINALLY get promoted, that I get a raise the day I was promised I’d get a raise? Is that really too much to ask?” More specifically I thought (and later actually said) “I brought this up last week to facilitate having the review THIS week so I could get my raise THIS week.”

I was told I was being completely unreasonable and I could STOP being unreasonable and be patient or I could quit. Except his words were “You can stop being unreasonable and be patient or you can walk.”

Right now my walking shoes are sounding pretty dang good.